So much more was said in the unsaid...
Relationships are strange, aren't they? You stay with someone for a few months, and then one day you decide you are not happy. So, you pack your bags and choose to leave the entire of your past behind, to look for the happiness in new faces. But maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame. So, we decided to stay friends and not complicate things. He probably knew he couldn't love me. How could he? I didn't love myself either.
When people get hurt, they call up their best friend, cry all night over the phone, so the next morning they can wake up with a smile on their face. Me? I smoke. And my best friend has always been the girl in the mirror. I tell her everything. She knows where I hide the skeletons of the people I lost, the choices I made and what it cost. But tonight, even she isn't talking to me. Tonight, even she misunderstands me.
Sometimes I blame you, for what you did to me. Sometimes, I blame myself for letting you do this to me. But to be honest, I always blamed me. I should have told you I'm not as strong as I let the world see. How could you not see? You were in love with someone I could never be.
I may have dreamt a lot a little too soon. But even if I miss you like a mad, even if it hurts like hell, I will choose to remember you. So if someday the lyrics of a certain song brings all our memories crashing down on me, I will not fight it. I'll look back on the summer you said you love me, the winter when you said you don't...and I'll smile. I'll be happy that I got to love you, before our time ran out. I'll be glad that I met you. And I will always keep our conversations safe. You will still be my favourite book. But, I won't read you anymore.
© Puja Sarkar
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