"A letter to the younger me"

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Find meaning in worthlessness
That will in itself be your victory

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I feel like I need to handle
big responsibilities.
I always tell myself I need too
in order to survive.
Yet the moment I get it,
I feel such a huge pressure to fulfill it.
I ask myself; do I even deserve
this opportunity?
What if I screw up?
Yet, from an outsider perspective,
they perceive me as being too
prideful as if I said I could do better.
But they don't know there's
a nagging sensation telling me
I'm not capable of it.
I'm trying so hard to eliminate
that feeling of worthlessness.
I have to remind myself that I'm
reliable, mature, smart and skillful.
I have to believe it in order
to vanquish my insecurity.
Self-sabotage is such a dangerous thing.
Don't be a victim of yourself.
Be your own saviour.

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"Immersed in the memories of my past.
Went through my millennial angst.
Found zero response of her.
Reiterating my own
worthlessness
again-n-again."

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Yes, I feel like I spoil everything
Yes, I feel like I lost everything
Yes, I felt that feeling of disguise
And yes, I felt that whisper of my worthlessness..

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People have more time to find flaws but they dont show us that they are already a buzy person in their life and we blindly trust them!!!

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The feeling of worthlessness can be used to motivate yourself to be better at something or can become an excuse for your failures. Choose wisely.

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कोई तो सम्भाल लो,
टूट रही हूं अंदर से हां मुझको कोई थाम लो,
लाचार हूं अपने आप से,
खेलूं कितना खुद के जज़बात से,
बिखरी पड़ी मैं टूटी लड़ी सी,
चुन लो कोई फिर से बांध दो।
बेचैन मन पूछे सवाल,
खुद को मैं क्या ही जवाब दूं,
दिन-ब-दिन रही हूं मोम सी,
मुझे सांचे में किसी ढाल दो।

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I like the feeling
Of emptiness.
Nothing inside me,
But worthlessness.
No food in my gut.
I always get weak.
I will always eat.
And suffer defeat.
I don't wanna speak,
But, the words just gush out.
Some people act stupid
And force me to shout!
I'm not understood often
Because of past miseries.
Misery loves company.
Not in my case, you see.
Because I like the feeling
Of nothing inside.
Where people can't hurt
Or pretend it's alright.

05/06/2019

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Even after having everything perfect at this age,
I hav no reason to Sleep at Night . . .
On the contrary people on earth are Worthlessly
finding ways to wake up early in the Morning .

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