I'm here.
Still here.
A little less broken then before.

-

Why do the good ones go?
And the rotten souls live?
Why are our nightmares a reality
and our dreams stay fantasies?
I slept away the horror of today
to avoid my neighbour's pain.
I can hear my sister cry as she
mourns for her friend.
Prayers, cures and mistakes to amend,
why does this feel like the end?

-

Tinfoil, smoke and ash,
that's the making of a stash.
Mother flushes it down the toilet
and covers up the scent.
Daughter's suspicion is confirmed
and they
all
come
tumbling
down.
Fatherless girls and a shell of a mother.
Where could things go wrong?
House of Tyranny.

-

I was told being alone was unhealthy for me.
I accepted I had too let people in my life.
I always thought I had found my tribe.
Until, they made me feel even more alone.
It hurts more to be their shadow than to
be invisible.

-

My dreams have been strange of late.
Today, I've had dreams that I didn't hate.
I dreamt of an old friend guiding me to safety.
His hold on me was warm and comfy.

I feel forgotten and misguided.
Memories of trauma leave me divided.
I want to be like you, you and you.
I want to see my goals through.

I've spent a decade trying to fly.
I've hit rocks, rolled down cliffs and survived.
So why do I still feel like I'm not alive?
The numbing of my emotions makes me decide,
That I'm not strong enough so it's time to hide.

My dreams have been strange of late.
This very moment I drift away...
Into my world of fantastic fantasies.
Filled with interesting abnormalities.

-

When it happens, I will be parentless.
Motherless.
The curses we spat with venom in
our fights have remembered us now.
They've come to taunt me.
Is it coming true?
Did I do this?
As rain begins to pour,
my tears begin to form.
I'm not ready for this storm.
I'm not ready.
I'm not.
I'm so scared.

-

It started after I quit;
my job, my education,
my goals, my love life and
friendships. I daydream now
more times than I ever I did as a
child. I even caught myself
daydreaming an hour-and-a-half
long scenario of pure financial
stability, material wealth, a safe home
to live in and peace and quiet. I can
actually tire myself out from
daydreaming to avoid the colossal
weight of truth overwhelming my
being. The treachery of society and
family who said they would help yet
forgot about us after a weekend
of high times. I'm disappointed by the
adults who'd guaranteed the
pain would be over. Sometimes,
I just want out from the
responsibility of just keeping
alive, but I'm afraid of abandoning
my family.

-

I cried when
I was born,
will I cry when
I'm about
to die too?
I'm afraid to
look at the news.

-

We are two leaves falling
from the same tree.
It's last days due to harsh,
cold weather that shrouds
our decent in icy ruin.
Yet, together we fall in
bittersweet harmony.
In silence and in understanding,
our purpose together is over.

-

Thank you God for giving me
a chance to try again today.

-