“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver
So days went by in a blur and I successfully survived a year without you. Last year on 16th of January we parted ways with promises to meet up as soon as we could. There was a time when I couldn’t stay a week without meeting you and here I am not having seen or touched you for one full year. The rest of my life will pass too.
When you left me I learnt to take care of myself and value myself. I realized that I am whole and complete on my own. I began to manage all my chores on my own. I booked my flight tickets with discounted rates and did my taxes by myself. When negative thoughts crossed my mind I had to pull myself up because I no longer had the option of calling you and throwing my broken self to your arms. I got used to not receiving good morning texts and still smiled looking at the rising sun thinking to myself what a beautiful day laid ahead of me. I no longer woke up on Saturdays early because I knew no one was waiting beneath my house and it felt just fine.
So many times I wanted to tell you about my day but I kept myself busy with something as simple as making tea. Valentine’s, birthdays, festivals were celebrated without you. I was no longer bothered about what gift to get for you or what food to cook for you. I found solace with my friends and family, in pursuing my hobbies.
Sights, sounds, places, smells, people, food, things reminded me of you but I waded on.
You had brought music back into my life, perhaps the second best gift you gave me.
There were good days, I laughed pretty loud, I feasted, I danced, I sang, I dated and I kissed. There were bad days; I missed you so much you were always on my mind.
One fine day I came to terms with the fact that although I found my soul mate in you, you didn’t.
When you left me I fell in love with myself all over again and that was your best gift for me.
Happiness and peace also come through simple things you love, such as reading a good book, being with friends you love, traveling, or a hobby. You can enjoy many moments of peace every day, when you do small, simple things you love.