थक गयी मैं इस जिन्दगी से
थक गयी मैं रोज रोज की बीमारी से
थक गयी मैं सबके नफरतों से
हार गयी मैं अपने आप से ..
हर गयी मैं मुश्किलो से लड़ते लड़ते
हार गयी मैं दुनिया के इन लोगो से
जिन्दगी जीनें की कोई वजह ना रही
अब जीनें की कोई चाह ही नही रही ..

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They kept praising her smile ,
But only her injured soul knew the pain behind .....
They assumed her to be reticent
While she kept screaming from inside....

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when death would come
with a warrant in its hands
knocking on your door,
asking you to drop to the floor
while it sweeps for a reason
to take you in custody;
you lay there hoping,
it find your shatteredness valid enough
because you cannot go on like this anymore.

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क्यों हर बात कोई लफ़्ज़ों में ही कहे
कभी तुम भी तो ख़ामोशी समझने की कोशिश कर लिया करो|

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depression
मैं खुदको ही miss कर रही हूँ
मेरे मुस्कुराहट को miss कर रही हूँ
मेरी आज़ादी को miss कर रही हूँ
मेरी हसी को miss कर रही हूँ..
मैं अपने आप को miss कर रही हूँ..
मैं अपने गुजरे हुए कल को miss कर रही हूँ..
मैं मुझे ही miss कर रही हूँ
मैं मेरे ही बीते दिनों को miss कर रही हू
जो बदल गयी हैं...
मुझे उन्हें वापस पाना है
फिरसे मुस्कुराना हैं..😭😭😭😭😭

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Zindagi ke uss daur me jee rhi hu
Jaha marna bahot aasan hai..!!

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शायद वो बाहर से खुश था
पर अंदर से वो झुलस रहा था
शायद वो बात तो करना चाहता था
पर बात उसकी कोई सुनता ना था
शायद लोगों के लिए वो बीमारी ना थी
पर वो बेइंतहा दर्द सह रहा था
शायद वो आज भी जिंदा रहना चाहता था
पर दिलो दिमाग से वो हार चुका था

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I only heard of depression,
but the definition of this word
ultimately came into my dictionary
much later to make me aware of it

But seriously can you blame me?

I was taught how to read,
how to write, how to speak,
but no one ever taught me
"How not to think?"

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SUNKEN

Drowning in deep waters,
Out of breath,
With people around breathing in fresh air.

Waves of pain overpowering,
Pushing down and down to an ocean bed,
Lonely, dark and dejected.

Thoughts controlling the soul,
And good luck not under control,
Things getting worse,
Under the shadow of a cloud raining pessimism.

Losing a battle never fought,
The feeling full of distraught,
Brain consoling a weeping soul
And an aching heart with a false smile.

Numb emotions and numb life,
In need of friends but no way to socialize,
Being in a cage escapable,
But without a map to escape,
It's not sadness,
It's not loneliness,
It's something unknown.

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Do success, money, fame guarantee you mental peace? Is there any permanency in popularity? Losing against your mental health is something which someone hardly knows how to process. It shakes you. It reminds you of how fragile someone can be from inside no matter how strong they look from outside. All of us are fighting our own private battles. We all should always talk and share to our dear and near ones in what direction our brain is forcing us to lead. On the other hand, we all should also keep a check of our loved ones and tell them that they're not alone regardless of the distance. I personally have seen many ups and downs during last year but I'm grateful to have such an understanding family who has always been a rock in supporting me. It's high time to understand that true happiness comes from within and not without. Most importantly, be kind to yourself and every little being. Breathe.

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