he wiped his brow
i asked him
one last time
to not stay true
to his word
and this time around
he was confident
of not faltering
like he did every other time
when love demanded promises

was it ever love?
that surrendered to the world
and fought each other
(not for each other)
layla questions him
and he questions the world
to evade the responsibility
love placed on him

they flew away
with broken wings
and she fell down
in a pool of tears
for the last eternal time

-

my life, my love
is a small bracket
encompassing you
and laying down curtains
on everything around
i see no one
no one hears me
my saviour-ship
flows with your blood
let it cross continents
within you and discover
for itself a home
where it can live some days
and some day rest eternally.

-

in a fistful of dust
love falls and keeps falling
with grace
until the dust rises
and blows away signs
of all majesty

you turn into a pile of dust
scattered, ghostly
like you never lived

-

paradise has seasons
four beautiful colours
spreading through the cameras
of people coming in
and reaching a collectively dead
nation who soothe their eyes : irony!

Ours is a fall twelve months long
our men - the fresh chinar leaves
spill and turn crimson at the sound
of guns roaring through their meat
and a collectively dead nation
soothes its soul

we sit amidst the cold winter moon
on frozen streets and warm ourselves
with burning hearts and eyes on fire
as we plead for one last touch
before our sons meet their God
and we leave justice

for another day.

-

do we know each other well?
since how long?
for how long?
questions?
no, fears?
or apprehensions?
terror.

tomorrow
when you walk
on uneven lands
say a prayer
we might respond
from beneath
unidentified homes

we're all martyrs :
OGWs, militants, collateral damages
human shields, terrorists -
muslims per say :
kashmiri muslims
and you shall be one
too soon before you speak

-

جب پلکوں پہ بوجھ آئے
چلے آنا چلے انا
دلِ مضطر کے دروازے
کھلے ہیں تم چھپ جانا
نہ کوئی گلہ تم سے
نہ شکوے کا حق مانگیں
تم بے فکری کے خوابوں میں
کروٹ بدل کے سو جانا
میرے دل کی عمارت میں
تم ہنس لینا تم رو لینا
کسی کی یاد کو لے کر
تم فریاد کر لینا
تم مکیں ہو اس گھر کے
کبھی تم لوٹ کر آنا
بہانے در بہانے سے
دلِ نادان کو بہلانا

-

but what taste do kisses have?
do the parched lips hidden under shades
tell you of the the smothering sobs
that were taken when the gun wielding man
stood on my father's throat?

do you hear the shattering heart
as our lips meet?
an old powerless man was dragged
to his grave, a dead powerful man
do you see my dreams?


mashouq
when these secrets enter your soul
it shall be called the historical kiss of love
far away from the lustful gaze
of mankind

-

i clutched to your memory
this day on a perpetual alley
of pain and grief

i saw you and i saw myself
on two different screens
a face was lying peacefully
after a long fought war
and a face was staring back
at a soul that was incessantly
to fight now

each day i hold on
my stitches firmly
for the fear of you
slowly and silently
creeping out of my heart

mashouq

the pathways leading to and fro
my worn-out heart are sealed
with concertina wires
stay put till the heart rebels
we will both escape one day
and leave behind a vibrant nation.

-

you left
i left myself
since your departure
mashouq
no dimples make holes
in my face
the butterflies in my stomach
died too
my henna bowl is filled
with the last drops
of your blood
i preserve them
every minute
through my tears

the sun doesn't glow
the moon doesn't shine
the stars don't laugh
i don't play

we all have paused
with the pause of your breath

this is a pledge made
till eternity.

-

it's eid
we all dress up
to curfewed streets
and soldiers on loudspeakers
offer 'eidyan' to anyone
moving out of their homes
or opening a window

we sit together for nun chai
and something bursts
firecrackers?
no, bullets and
tear-gas shells
we have learned the art
of recognizing

different weapons
by the sound of their volleys
mother prays for the chanting boys
it's eid
they won't kill today
but when has the killer
honoured days?

the sky turns red
it's a bulletin
our mini eidgah
will also be a jinazgah
even today
we prepare a funeral
yousuf has been killed

-