Why are we so hard on ourselves?
Sometimes just existing can be hard.
YES! EXISTING!
Putting on that smile, that gloss on your lips and the twinkle in your eye,
Crashing inside but being totally happy outside.
Wearing this mask of happiness we don't want to wear.
Why should we bear the brunt of society's insecurities?
So I will exist, till I feel okay.
Taking one step at a time everyday.
Seeing beauty in the smaller things,
Feeling okay in my imperfections.
Until the day I am truly happy,
I want to exist.
Because, if existing means I could go one step closer to finding myself,
Existing is okay. Just breathing is okay. Being imperfect, IS OKAY.

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Beneath all my smiles,
The effort,
You know not of.
The burden I carry
on these heavy shoulders,
You know not of.
The indifference,
Under the surface of warmth I give you,
You know not of.
An open heart,
I show to welcome you.
The cracks inside them,
You know not of.
In pain I dwell,
For into a living hell I fell.
After all I've told you now,
You'd be a fool to not understand what I've told above.
Yet I tell you time and again,
The real me,
You know not of.
What I feel,
You know not of.
YOU, know not of.

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Neither do I seek your repentance,
Nor your obedience
The crocodile tears,
Those fake despairs.
Showing me that sorry face,
You beg me to erase.
Assuring me that you'll right,
Every single wrong.
Asking me for mercy,
To ensure your life prolongs.
Oh dear, How you forget!
With no deepest regrets,
I will take my sweet,
Sweet Revenge.
An eye for an eye,
Your fate in dangling in this palm of mine.
Your spirit robbed from your soul,
Darkness is all you'll ever know.

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What your eyes see,
Isn't what it might be.
Miss perfect,
They expect me to be.
Sneak a peek,
Into the Pandora's box inside me.
I reek of the devil now,
All of which you ain't seeing somehow.
I'm a matryoshka doll,
Into the abyss I fall,
What your eyes see,
Isn't what it seems to be.
For I'm in the depths of hell,
And you falling for my smile,
reluctant to save me.

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I long for the day,
When the sun's rays can touch my face.
I long for the day,
To feel the gentle water,
Caressing my fingers.
I long for the day,
To breathe air unfiltered,
By those masks we wear.
I long for the day,
When I can put my tears to ease,
Carried by the breeze.
I long for the day,
When our eyes meet.
Wanderlust is in my blood.
Now, look at me.
I'm shackled in this 4 walled place.
Can't you see?
My wings are clipped,
My happiness stripped.
Yet my soul yearns for you.
Come to me my beloved,
Set me free, to be free forever.
Oh come to me, My Freedom!
I long for the day,
When I can see you again.

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My happy smiles,
My gleaming eyes,
Can you see how empty I'm inside?
My perfect petence,
Now my best friend,
My loneliness, can you comprehend?
I'm happy go lucky,
Wearing the shield of bravery,
Can you see my anxiety?
I'm empty inside,
No place to hide,
Do you see me through my smiles?
Don't judge me, you don't get me.
Save for yourself, this pity.
I'll drown in hell,
I'll thrive in despair,
I'll sacrifice my soul for all I care.
Give me eternal happiness,
Eternal peace,
This is all I seek.
In this quest I'd lose anything,
My sanity,my soul, my everything.
For I'm already in nothingness,
Nothing left to lose.
Sans feeling, sans light, sans anything.

-

I smile, I laugh,
Happiness in all my photographs.
I'm happy? so it would seem,
Little do you know about the raging storm in me!
To see others happy,
I sacrifice my own.
To see others happy,
I bear their tears in my soul.
Yet I smile, yet I forgive,
In the hopes of wanting to live.
I've caged my emotions with my soul,
I don't feel anything anymore.
In a world of pretence we live, don't we?
We talk all, but broken we are and scarred we shall be.
One day I'll smile, I'll laugh,
Happiness in all my photographs.
I will be happy I will be healed,
In the rainbow after the rains,
I truly want to believe.

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We all live life in fear.
Fear to be judged,
Fear to die,
Fear to take risks.
We all want to fit perfectly in this imperfect society.
We have all sacrificed our souls to be the "ideal person".
We procrastinate,
We make up for our flaws by making others feel wrong.
The person we need to be devilishly consumes the person we are.
We hide behind a mask of fears and justify it with various external and internal pressures.
Ask yourself this,
"What if you were to die today?"
"What if tonight when you close your eyes, you never open them tomorrow?"
We all are so focused on trivial things we forget that every day we sleep, we can only hope to wake up tomorrow.
Every day is a blessing.
Not everyone is entitled to it.
So don't waste your time surviving.
Breathe. Enjoy. Be alive in every moment!
We can't control our future, but we can control our present.
Make your life beautiful, focus on the happiness you have. BE YOU.
Live. Laugh. Dance. Love ❤

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Tumhara ruh ko bhale hi me naa chu saku,
Tumhara dhadkhan ko bhale hi me naa sun saku,
Tumhara khamoshiyan bohat kuch keh jaata hai.
Iss duniya ki shor main,
Ek anokha sannata ho tum.
Meri jeevan ki kahaani me,
Ek ananth sachaai ho tum.
Kaisa ehasaas hai ye,
Jaha dooriyan ne bhi dam thod di.
Mujhe bina patha chale hi,
Mujhe pyaar ho gayi!

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Save me, I plead.
For a fair trail, I appeal.
Invisible, as it may seem,
Wars take place inside me.
Beneath the smiles and lies,
Who I am, is locked inside.
These rigid minds of society,
Have long forgotten humanity.
'Different' is shunned, bullied,
In fear, society lost its sanity.
Can your court avenge this injustice?
For I am caged for being Me.
Save me, I plead.
I long to be free.

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