Today my mind feels like a foggy land,
All mist, no sign of seeing each other.
Feeling lonely and alone all at the same time.
Yet see, I'm standing straight like sunlight
And running in the muddy roads,
And trying to enjoy the fog,
Like it was a clear sky.
But yet it's not!-
Can you see the fire burning the paper,
Rather a small corner of it?
Think of it more as the edge of life with lies.
And the smoke?
Well, I think it’s the consequences,
The more you inhale the more you drown
A part of yourself in the chaos.
-
You know sometimes I feel like,
I'm a ghost to you,
Being there with you still invisible.
You do see me,
But I'm not there.
Is it true? That all I'm is just a ghost?
Haunting your life.
I do want you to fly with your wings open,
But can't I be a part of it too?
Is it not your wish?
I sometimes feel like it's always me wanting everything.
I've seen you, yet rather feel you these days,
Pushing me further aside,
Acting weirdly different,
Is it all an act?
Because the days are near,
Or is it the truth, and I'm an idiot.
Although you're showing me,
Pointing me out things,
I'm being so blind, can't even see things straight.
Have I always been a ghost to your life?
Just passing like air in between.
Is your being with me,
Is just another wish of mine,
Am I not welcomed in your life?
So many riddlea to solve,
Yet so less time.
And now the clock is ticking,
Almost all the time is finished
And yet, I still remain a ghost.
-
I was gifted a flower today,
Though I don't know what to call it,
Affection
Love
Friendship
Or just a normal flower,
Torn from the wilderness,
Just to gift it to someone,
Maybe in the thought of
That the wilderness might transfer,
To her so much peace life.
And may be somehow,
It did changed something in her,
It did made her explore beyond the limits.
Like she always wanted to,
That flower did made her wild,
And it's purpose was filled,
And somehow maybe it was not wasted.-
I know it's not right
But sometimes I just don't care,
What's right anymore,
When it comes to you.
I also don't know,
Why don't you see yourself,
Like I see you.
You've asked me several times,
What's so special I see in you,
I think the answer is, you
Through my eyes.
Believe me I don't wanna be clingy,
So I keep my distance.
But my mind and heart doesn't synchronize.
That day did changed
A lot of things,
Some deep unspoken words,
Did came out of me,
Which I wished not to say,
But I can't regret now.
I really don't know
what would've happened,
If our friendship ended that day.
But again,
You did saved me, again.
And have given me a second chance.
And honestly I'm trying my best to move on,
To another lane.
But may be this road is where I meant to be,
Because even after trying so much,
Nothing is getting changed,
And everytime,
I'm ending where I've started.-
So I ask myself
Why do I go to office everyday,
Even when I'm sick.
May be it's because
That's the best place to be busy
To hide your emotions in plain sight.
Then I ask myself,
Why it's all about emotions for me?
Day in & out just acting emotionless,
Hiding, sacrificing, staring, thinking & loosing,
Loosing life
Loosing feeling,
Loosing myself somewhere too.
I'm in pain can't you feel,
And all I get is your ignorance, when I ask you about it,
All I get in return are your blank white lies,
Filled with gaps of emotions in between.
I want to believe you care, love & mean something in my life,
But even though I feel, my brain denies.
Because it sees facts and facts says
Your ignorance is stronger than love.
And so I'm in a constant war with myself,
Thinking should I stand at the terminal for you,
Or should I travel for a world beyond,
I want to both travel & stay,
And ultimately as confusion starts to gulp me as a quick sand,
My easiest way of getting out,
Is the means to stay busy.
Shove down all the feelings & emotions,
Which are long lost to be found.
-
Days like these are hard to pass
And nights are long forgotten,
While the summer breeze burns your skin
Raindrops sothens your soul from inside.
But what's it for,
Still your soul feels hollow,
Your mind feels the gap,
Your emotions are left untouched,
Life's all pale and numb.
And after a long time,
When my heart takes a beat,
It was so fast that life couldn't bear it,
And it took a wild turn.
It was left or right, I don't know,
All I knew was that it's wild.
And when life couldn't bear that wilderness
It stopped.
When I thought that my life could get back on track,
It might be the beginning of a new chapter,
It was just another shattering dream,
And I was a lost dreamer.
Life taught me that,
Dreams are another situations,
And some situations should be considered as bad dreams.
Life taught me that,
There will be nobody at last,
It's just you,
You started it alone & you'll finish it alone too.
And people in between are just some moving passangers.
-
Even surrounded by so many loving happy souls you still feel left out.
-
What is home to you?
For me it's not a place,
where you live.
It's the feeling,
Of love & peace
That you feel around people
who are close to your heart.-