I wonder what at night keeps me awake
Is it my dreams or the nightmares
The happiness or the regrets
The endless possibilities or the hurdles that await
I just want to sleep it all away
All the pleasure and all the pain
Scared of closing my eyes not wanting to doze away
For there is uncertainty of what awaits when I open my eyes for another day

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alternatives to what I could have said or done for things to be different from the way they are today.

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They can only see my poise but not in my mind the noise..
Screaming in my head are the demons I despise...
That doesn't make me bad, I just don't have a choice...
As in my head are the demons who at my fall rejoice...
Look at me with your heart and not only your eyes...
For then you will realise what really in my heart lies...
But when you smiled at me, I saw the noise behind your poise...
Screaming in our heads were the demons we despise.

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I couldn't look at you the same so I had no choice but to leave..

It was neither of our faults is what I will still believe..
But it was someone else and not me that you chose to believe.

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Na khoyi hoon, na tooti hoon
Na kisi ke intezaar mein, khayaalon mein ya soch mein hoon......

Yahin sath hoon mai filhaal
Phir bhi kisi k pas nahi hoon....

Waqt toh lagega mujhe
Khud ko dhoondne mein, jodne mein, taraashne mein aur sambhalne mein....

Lekin zaroorat nahi hai mujhe kisi ke sath ki
Kyunki khud ko khud se jeena sikha rahi hoon....

Na khoyi hoon
Na tooti hoon
Na kamzor hoon.

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As a child I wish I knew that there would be no appreciation for all the good things I would do.
As a child I wish I knew that the things I was good at was not what I was supposed to do.
As a child I wish I knew that who I wanted to be was nowhere near to what others wanted me to do.
As a child I wish I knew that growing up, dreams and thoughts in my life had no role to do.
As a child I wish I knew that I had no choice of my own even in the biggest decision of saying.. I do!

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Depression is a vast barren desert where sadness is just one grain of sand.

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The last time we met, I never knew this would happen.
The last time we met, I never thought this could happen.
The last time we met, my face was what you wished to see forever.
And now it's the face you wish you will see never.
I know my mistake but please don't leave me like this here.
Please forgive me and make my miserable life back to better.

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'LYING FROM YOU' about 'WHAT I'VE DONE' feeling 'HEAVY' and 'GUILTY ALL THE SAME'. 'SORRY FOR NOW' as 'I'LL BE GONE' without a 'GOOD GOODBYE', for 'NOBODY CAN SAVE ME' 'WHEN THEY COME FOR ME'.
I 'RUNAWAY' searching for 'SOMEWHERE I BELONG', trying to find 'A PLACE FOR MY HEAD'.
'LOST IN THE ECHO' in the 'EMPTY SPACES' in a sudden 'BLACKOUT' I see 'THE MESSENGER' with 'KEYS TO THE KINGDOM' in one hand and my 'DOOMSDAY CLOCK' in another.
A 'WAR', a 'BATTLE SYMPHONY' now in my mind for the 'NEW DIVIDE'.
I take 'ONE STEP CLOSER' to the 'CASTLE OF GLASS' in the hope of 'ONE MORE LIGHT' but an 'INVISIBLE' 'HIGH VOLTAGE' is there to 'BURN IT DOWN'.
I 'HIT THE FLOOR' feeling 'NUMB', the 'SHARP EDGES' feeling like 'PAPERCUT'.
'TALKING TO MYSELF' this can't be 'ALL FOR NOTHING' I say.
A 'FAINT' 'IRIDESCENT' 'BURNING IN THE SKIES' becomes 'THE CATALYST' for 'BREAKING THE HABIT'.
'CRAWLING' 'IN PIECES' towards 'A LIGHT THAT NEVER COMES',ready to' BLEED IT OUT'.
After the 'FINAL MASQUERADE' with myself, my 'SKIN TO BONES' want to be 'WITH YOU'.
I reach out to you feeling' VICTIMIZED'.
You are'READING MY EYES' with a smile.
'IN THE END'light does come.
IN THE END it does matter.

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Nights are often the time for my resurgence,when the accursed daytime gets replaced by the alluring night.

My skin feels cold and pale, blending perfectly into the dead of the night.

The empty streets give a sense of fullness to my empty soul on this desolate night.

All that is left now is warm human blood to get back all my might in this atramentous night.

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