Fatigue from what is to come and what it feels like to live
Despondency from what has been lost and regret for actions and inactions

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I didn't have a favorite toy as a kid
But I had a favorite thing to do
I loved reading
Through that I was lost in different universes
Versions and planes
I met new people and related with them
Loneliness eluded me
And I knew what it was like to live
To breathe
And to look forward to something from the little corner of my world

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You reassuring me that I'm loved
That you still think about me
That it's not what I think but I'm instead just overreacting
That you'll be there no matter what
To wipe my tears
To kiss my fears away
To hug my worries away

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Is that I'm finally growing
I might not be where I want to be yet
But at least I'm no longer where I was
I might hate myself some days but at least I know that I'll be fine

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Is
why you have changed
Why you no longer love me
If we can still carry on
What did I do wrong?
How can I make it up to you?
Why I always end up losing everything

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In time to correct your errors?
To experience the joy you once felt and is now lost?
To unmeet some people
And meet some people
To develop properly, in a way that you'd never be hurt again?
To change your perspective on some things?
To never say what should never have been said?
In order to breathe now without regret and shame?

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Books
Books to help me remember my bad times
Ones to help me remember good times
Ones to help remember the tales of a time I don't want to ever forget
Books to help me escape from reality
Books to help me improve
And books to help me remember just who I am, where I am from and where I am going

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Because you overwhelm me
Because there's always one problem after the next with you
Because I'd never be able to help you overcome your insecurities
Because I'm tired

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Why me?
Why I never got back the love I gave
Why I was always treated poorly
Why I was never enough for them
Why I always had to go the extra mile and still didn't get love

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I say that because I've decided to let go
Let go of you:
for constantly hurting me
For Making me feel less than myself at every point because I no longer want to be in your life or you in my life
I've decided to move on from you
You n longer mean anything to me

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