Winners choose to relapse,
But never relax.

-

He knew
she recovered
from the illness.

What he doesn’t
knew was the
concept of ‘Relapse’ .

-

I've heard people say
that my eyes look like daffodils
in the retreating monsoon
or the last words of chameleon skin
and spring is just so far away

on good days mom smells like coffee
dad's goodnight kiss
doesn't taste like whiskey
and i do not need stitches on my veins

on good days i could just be a kid
and one of us kept the house lit up
as autumn just missed us by a day

on such days
i look at the tattoo on my wrist
a heart divided
a reminder
never to break my skin again

but relapse is a bitch...

-

You wait...
THINKING that the person you're waiting for..

Might just..
Just once...
BUT...

..... And you keep WAITING
Killing your logical mind for you emotionally foolish HEART..

-

Unless you're into it, you never apologise the same.

-

and I thought you had left me
finally, gradually.
was it painful? yes, very much.
not your departure just
your constant stay.
your presence just made
me cry till my eyes were swollen
and the throat sore.
the sleeplessness
full of sleep
not wanting to, not able to
see anyone,
your constant painful
presence blurred everything around,
everyone around.
I had forgotten I exist, it was just you.
All of you. Only you. So much of you that I don't remember myself from all those numb nights and silent days I spent with you. you had done some good but the list of wrongs is too much. And now when I was finally realising that you have left, finally, gone for good, to never again return, seems like you are coming back. You are slowly crawling your way back in every place I bid you goodbye from.


---depression---

-

Depression relapse

The first relapse was easy to tell,
After that I couldn't talk,
I began to question myself

If it is real or my excuse,
But death released me of the confusion.

-

Depression Relapse:

You know it is near,
You know you are stuck.
In an infinite loop
Of being helpless again.

-

Relapse.. continued

Yea, so much envisioned;
yet omissions does reality play out.
Maybe witnessed only via the coat of pretence.
For only in disguise does this loner live outside the shell.

Camouflaging the peace,
smile, boldness and laughter;
while silently hoping on a liberator to the rescue.
A stretched hand lent out;
waving & hoping for a grab.
Exhausted is my voice,
now faintly whispering in solitude.

To be continued in optimism.

-Ella_Odom

-

Relapse

Crawling back into this cage-like shell of mine;
Scared of being tapped back right into it
should I dare stick my head out again.
Holding tenaciously to the fairy words I'd like to say,
things I did wish to do, places I'd like to explore, experiences and adventures soothing for a weary heart, growth bigger than my Fantasies.

Memories that beautifies the exercise of
reminiscing I wish we made.
Most weird of things that is pleasurable to the soul;
I did wish to exhibit.
craziness never seen; I'd like to bring on display.
love so interesting I wish not to hold back, laugh with no limits, smiles without restrictions.

To be continued in same vain.

-Ella_Odom

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