"DEATH"- both as a word and event
Is what haunts and chokes
With terror and grief, WE suppose.
How ignorant or fallacious
Is it to adjectify a 'non-worldly' event
With the 'worldly' vocabulary!

The dissolution of the FORM into FORMLESS
No! Don't mistake it for the "loss of identity"
For an identity is, but, finite and constricted.

Where facade wears out
Where the journey goes beyond the body
Levitating in the infinite
Where "memory" fades ----
The root of pleasure and pain!

A transformation that leads
Beyond Gender
Beyond Relationships
Beyond the bars, both tangible and intangible
Of this mundane world .

For that's where I have come from
And there I must return to
But I dare not seize it
For I'm sure, I'll be chosen too
When destiny ordains.

So let me rename it as----
"THE ULTIMATE EMANCIPATION".

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Every night I find my way
To another gloomy land
Where pessimism and dilemma pervade
Although the hours of the days, sometimes
Manage to pull me into it
If not, atleast to its threshold,
But it's the stealthy night which succeeds
ALWAYS!

I'm baffled about 'to which of the lands I belong'?
The one I'm in or the one I'm drawn to mechanically?
Trust me I find satisfaction in none.
Nor I feel like home in either.

Or am I just a play ball?
Which is passed on from one land to the other?
And even if I'm,
I wonder which of the hands
Zealously catch hold of me, without a miss
Just to exuberantly throw me to the other?
And even if I failed to identify,
I'm sure both of them rejoice the skirmish.
And it goes on...
Like an eternity of a match
And it goes on...
Till the ball falls
Which shall end the match
But till then,
Who knows how long
And it goes on...

-

It is easy to Catch but difficult to Possess;
Possession takes power, patience and perseverance.

-

At a crossroad, I stand
Unlike Frost's Yellow Wood
Mine are rather dense and dark
People must have treaded on both
Alas! footprints no longer visible

At a crossroad, I stand
Confused if I could consummate the journey
Atleast of the one path
I "must" choose and start walking
Liberty- always celebrated,
Is sometimes an onerous task

At a crossroad, I "just stand"
A silent commotion in my mind
Witnessing the conflict of emotions
To establish their supremacy
I was warned that I'd pay hefty for the walk
Instead

"Choosing" already made me penurious.

-

I lost someone.
Someone
Who loved to dance
Who loved to hum random tunes
Day-in and day-out
Someone
Who complained about little things
Who would cry on being inflicted with the slightest pain
Who would laugh on silly jokes till the stomach hurts
Someone
Who not only waited for
But also admired
The sunset, the sunrise, the rain, the rainbow
The snowfall, the hailstones
The moon, the sky, the stars
Someone
Who believed in making wishes, webbing hopes
Believing in magic and miracles
That someone
One day left
I still search for her
On mirrors and within too
But, alas!
That li'l sensitive, mischievous being vanished
Forever and ever.

-

You're the rose
Dried, withered, scentless
Yet, dear and preserved in
An old favourite book

You're the letter
In my secret box.
Already read once and again
And AGAIN.
Giving me butterflies still

You're the fragrance
Familiar, favourite yet faint now
Trapped in my clothes
I have kept safe, unwashed

You're the song
Both hurting and healing
Old, melodious, sometimes melancholic
Played in my mind on loop

You're the memory
I once lived
Now turned into a home
I return every night.

-

I admit,
I've not crossed mountains
Nor touched the sky
Nor swam the entire ocean
Not covered the length and breadth
Of this enormous planet.

But I won't deny,
I've atleast walked a mile
Swam in between for a while
I have
Fallen, picked up and pushed Myself
Myself- As sizeable as me
Battling against, I won't
Surrender before myself
Little steps are not that little
If unstoppable, determined and incessant
They will together
Make the momentous shift.

-

I'm thankful.
I'm really thankful.
For it didn't work out.
It got me fruits I had never tasted.
I call them-
Realisation.
Self-admiration.
Self-congratulation.

I'm thankful.
For the storm touched me.
Rather than falling off as a dead log
I chose to be torn and fixed as a fence
Now I'm a robust fence.
Where I let the tendrils of confidence,
Esteem and dignity vine around me
And the flowers of satisfaction have bloomed.
I was having a singular life.
Now I nestle lives.

-

Clouds.
There are many.
To float.
To adore your beauty.
To hug you.
To brush against.
To move by.
To go and never come back.
Clouds, after all!

You Moon!
Lately, but atleast you realised you luminesce the best and most in their absence!

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Life's Yin and Yang

I don't dispute people have hurt me leaving the deepest scars
I can't deny either, that hands have healed me too.
Words have left me incarcerated,numb and agonised
But words, again, have rehabilitated, invigorated me too.
Lessons are inevitable, and so are its rewards
If you have tasted its bitterness, you'll taste it's sweetness too.
The stitches, the tapes depict my attitude of not giving up
Even if the slit got cured, it's worth a recognition too.
When complimented , "Glad! You left those behind!"
I reply " Though invisible now, but still I carry them too".
Who knew everyone, everything is gonna be a part of you?
If not worth cherishing for, atleast a learning too.
My scars are my badges I would flaunt
Don't hide, you can show-off yours too!
I don't contest it's not painstaking,
Remember, that evolution is for the betterment too.
I know we're not same, but being humans
The rule of life's Yin and Yang applies to you too!

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