चाहा तो बहुत ना चाहें तुझें,
ना चाहा कभीं,
के तू ना चाहें हमें।

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जिस्म माँगता हैं 2 गज ज़मीन,
ख्वाहिशें दफ़्न करने को काग़ज़ की 2 लकीरें काफ़ी हैं।

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alone.

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आजमाती हैं ख्वाइशों को, फिर पलकों पे दफ़न कर देती हैं।
जरुरतें आंखों की ज़मीन नर्म करती हैं, फिर बंजर कर देती हैं।

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some days it feels like we're dying to live, somedays it feels like we're living just to die.

i see all those sad eyes and i realize the real lies we've been told and the way our dreams dies, buried alive in our souls. it's like paradise where the angels are paralized & demons play their demonic roles. broken inside, yet we hide it all, wearing those fake smiles to cover the holes. holding bits and pieces of shattered heart, trying to fix the irrevocable & feel whole.

in our own zone we feels so alone, close to everyone yet so far from home.

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sometimes the secret ingredient dies with the chef.

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Are you lovin it?

"Quarantine"
"Netflix and Chill".
No school/college, no exams.
I'm an introvert, I'm made for it.
Work from home: that's the dream.
Sharing memes and songs on "corona".

Sounds great?

Now think of that "day-labour" who just lost his daily wages and a living for his family.
The old struggling for breathes.
The parents waiting for his only child who's abroad.
The doctors risking their lives to save ours.
The govt. officials staying out and risking exposure, to make you stay inside for your good.

Are we so naive? Don't we have any responsibility as a human being? If you can't help someone or bring a change, it's okay just stay inside. Please don't make fun of it, share memes on it or forward fake messages about it.

We have no idea what's coming, this is more serious than we thought.

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I never cared much about alphabetical orders until the day she used a "d" after "e" when she said:

i love you.

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Love;
I'm still in it, i mean it,
every minute, every second,
i'm waiting for that second
chance that you never gave "us",
what you gave was "give up"
on me, on us, on everything we had.
We had "almost everything"
or may be every thing
that we had was "almost".
I'm in pieces, looking for my
peace of mind & right before i'm
about to drown she hauls me
from the sea, see somehow, her
memories brakes me
from crashing but they break me.
Maybe, i'm not right for
her, she knows i only write for
her, right from the start, to the
moon & back & back to the stars.
She cuts, i bleed but she leaves
no scar. She's an angel but
an angel who loves war.

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here i go i'm writing the end, but i don't know where to start.
we failed in love? or we just fell in love to fall apart?
you call me heartless, yet ironically writing this breaks my heart.
thought you were a part of my life but you left once you played your part.

gone mad, i'm looking for you when i'm the one who's lost.
your pain exceeds your love, was it really worth what it cost?
cause it cost me my soul, your memories all over me like parasite taking over its host.
did you held me in your arms just to slit off my throat?

i feel all at once: sad, mad, happy, normal and anger.
maybe this is how it feels when your guardian angel puts you in danger.
or maybe, this is what happens when soulmates turns stranger.
can't believe you buried me alive, when you were supposed to be my avenger.

for you this may be just another quote, but this is my story to tell.
i hope i go to heaven when i die, coz without you, my life is living hell.

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