The chaotic silence that pierces through the dark and haunts down the light of daybreak,
is talking to me quite frequently these days.
Not that it has got its prey in my hollow soul
but my emptiness has got a refuge in its shady blackness.
Like a mirage of hope that night will end for the day will always come,
I too wait for my eyes to close to slumber but all that it does is drop down drops.
Crawling in the space with numbness leaving the nerves to shiver with cold,
the beating explodes now and then as if to shout liveliness but wishing to be dead.

-

So I woke up to the rain
Drizzling with roars and sparks
The sky turning to a big bundle of grey ash
Something pinched my stomach and inside my chest
A tingling pain run down from tip of my temple to toe
Heaving a sigh I close my eyes praying the rain to not last long
The sky starting darker, smirked some lines of light and noise.
Very gently the darkness engulfed the day light, my whole world in front of my eyes
Painful yet soothing breeze of lonely earth particles flew from the west
At this point I regret waking up,
Waking up to hug the cold warmth of loneliness
The warmth, that did not abandon me when the lights was gone ,Nights were drown
Sight was sore, and my shadow was gone.
It succumbed to the blackness.

-

Falling and crawling
Moving towards the end of the room,
A light piercing through the darkness,
My eyes could hardly see.
But there you were, holding onto my hopes
Poring life to my dreams, smile to my tears
And endurance to my pain, there you were.
LIFE GOES ON
so does hollowness.
LIFE GOES ON
So does hope.
..
I found you in this life, so will you.
I felt it in this life, so will you.

-

Fear, yes the only thing the heart can feel
Not to loose but to be lost.
Fear that pulls all the threads of consciousness
To a widening gyre of endless questions
To a bewilderment of self doubt.
Fear, to embrace the embarrassment of expression and expectation.
Fear, to let the history repeat again.
Fear, why can't the heart shed it off!
Fear, cz it's the only thing that was left behind, memories.

-

You want to be someone’s
First Priority,
Why not start from yourself!

-

It’s just like the sunshine after rain-
pure,calm and fearlessly focused
- SELF LOVE-
comes after a dark thunderstorm,
and madness of pain when clouds collide
but when it ends,comes the moment of
epiphany.

-

You know what you did? No you don't ,
You crashed the broken pieces with your feet just like trash as they were smashed all over the place.
You watched the snake come to me and poison while alluring me to believe you.
You played along to suck all that was left of goodness and I just wish for God sake you could have spare me.
You, I thought was different, which was a difficult thought, but alas no difference.
You know what you did? No you don't.
Even now I am captivated in the chaos you created and caged my willpower to come out of it.
Even now I don't dare to dream and darling you don't know how dreadful a life it seems to see it drain and still sit still.

-

In the rain that you like, in the song you listen
In the story you are, in the life you met I,
There was nothing like destiny but my sheer desire to encounter what life feels like.
Many talks left unutterred, many places left unventured, but those eyes touched what was hidden beyond the talks and places.
So now the rain feels like the song in our story in my life.

-

And then sometimes you are not just an illusion but a reality in denial
Your mere existence is like an answer to all my “why me” phases of life when living seemed impossible
Dear you, wherever you are and in whatever form
But thank you for being there doing nothing but just staying.

-

Suddenly but certainly
You became exactly the
person you asked me stay away from.
Slowly but surely
A chapter got closed without an end.

-