Death must be so beautiful
to lie in the soft brown earth
with the grasses waving
over one's head
and listen to silence
to have no yesterday
and no tomorrow
to forget time
to forgive life
to be at peace...

-

I've survived and I am not stronger for it.

I'm not proud to wear the scars,
they are a reminder of the pain I've endured.
Although my body has healed,
my mind still bleeds like they are fresh.

people around me have become so tired of the
same story and I don't even tell it anymore.
I wish they understood that I'm tired too.
tired of pretending that I'm okay,
and that "time heals all wounds"( it doesn't)

the trauma literally changed my brain.
overstimulated amygdala,
underactive hippocampus,
weak prefrontal cortex.

I've survived and I'm not stronger for it.

-

Will you still love me in the winter
when my skin is dry
my lips are chapped
and my smile is less bright
when I sleep in a little longer
and go out a little less
when some days I can't make you laugh
when some days all I do is cry
will you still love me
when some days I don't want to wake up at all

-

I'm afraid
you'll be disappointed
if you're looking for a rose
because I have wildflowers growing
through my skin
with roots deep in my bones.

-

There's no need to feel bad,
if you spent all day in bed,
kept the curtains drawn,
cancelled meeting your friends,
forgot to shower,
cried yourself to sleep.

Today is made of only survival,
and that's okay.

There will be days ahead,
when living is possible again.

-

Today I can't speak kindly, my love,
Today I'm gonna disappear,
It's the day of death.
You can't surprise someone who celebrates death,
Smile as you do your hurting,
I can't breathe at night when the memories hit,
I just wanna cry, cry all night till it stops making me weak,
Cold brave eyes, but I just wanna break myself,
Just to feel real, just to feel strong,
I wanna see the tears,
But they don't come out,
I feel stones under the cold water,
They look at me like I'm crazy,
Blood spilled across my face,
Red on my teeth, bloody hands,
Bleeding soul.

-

They called me beautiful, like it was my name.

It was the identity they gave me
An expectation I could never live up to.

They told me to smile and talk more softly
So, I screamed and I screamed.

Rage killed my beauty.
Nobody loves an angry girl.

-

He died before we could fix things,
Before we could make things right.

I would give anything to hug him again
Or even have one last fight.

He said things would get better
But it didn't work out that way.

We had so much to work through
And now it's too late.

I am left with so many unsettled feelings
He died before we could fix things.

-

Duality Theory

When photons collide,
No two person can love the same way,

It doesn't matter if I 'Wave' you down
Or you 'Particle' me up, because at the
end of the day, we 'Light' each other.

-

पापा

काश कोई डाकिया
खुदा के यहाँ से‌ भी आता
जो विदा हो गए हैं दुनिया से
वो उनका पैगाम लाता॥

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