Made to feel like walking away is abandonment,
All while sacrificing your peace,
Your stomach wretches at the vocabulary garbage you force yourself to eat.
Twisting at the inner most layers, battling to keep the liquid somersaults of sickness at bay.

“Run” a soft voices whispers hinting a feeling of dread that’s yet to come.

Pushing back premonitions,
you continue to play the part, the role,
Lover, friend, confidant.
“Fool” the voice continues scolding the decision to stand still and ignore the evident manipulations,
happening at the hands of someone you think loves you.
“Foolish girl” you need to run, the voice of admonition continues.
For you see a narcissist only cares about themselves and sees no wrong in filling their needs by whatever means.
Playing multiple victims at a time,
until it’s prey has lost its shine.

“Run!”, you foolish child.

~@ShanaySoignèe

-

I felt my heart break again tonight,
Felt my world fall from beneath my feet like the earth without gravity.
Lying there with my lonesome in the pitch black of darkness,
I felt my sincerity shatter from the unexpected plunge into despair just words alone made me feel.
I wish the world was a much better place,
Where anxiety was erased and being judged was taboo.
I felt my heart break again tonight.
@ShanaySoignèe

-

Who would have thought behind closed doors, I’d cry so much?
Between midnight tears and long morning showers,
I dry my eyes in anticipation of another predictable day.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes,
Yet it’s so hard to bring about the difference that I constantly crave.

The need for love or rather to be loved,
Not for who I’m perceived to be but simply just for me.
For all that I am, and all that I’ve expressed that I hope to be.
I know I’m a bit much, a bit miserable, a bit bossy, a bit too strong and a bit stand-offish.
For you see that’s all I’ve heard throughout the years and it’s a bit off putting when that’s all they see.

I’ve become so accustomed to the small minds of people, who only consider themselves the axis on which the world revolves.
Yet, I continue on with a smile; being that which I hoped someone could be to me.
A rock, a confidant, a shoulder to lean on, unconditional support, a friend.
I give that which I hope to receive only to be left hurt and disappointed.
For you see, everyone can’t be just like me.
~ShanaySoignée

-

The day you stop rewarding inconsistency with loyalty,
Is the day you experience contentment.
~ShanaySoignée

-

Defeated

I felt my heart break again tonight,
Felt my world fall from beneath my feet like earth without gravity.
Lying there with my lonesome in the pitch black of darkness,
I felt my sincerity shatter from the unexpected plunge into despair just words alone made me feel.
I wish the world was a much better place,
Where anxiety was erased and being judged was taboo.
I felt my heart break again tonight.
@ShanaySoignée

-

Sis....
Don’t let anyone tell you “I Love You” in the same breath they use to tell you “But I Don’t Want A Relationship.”
That’s not love.
~ShanaySoignée

-

Skin

Grafted in all its glory,
I bask in the feel of you.
Your melanin compliments my shade,
Like the missing link clasping all the love I have to the boundless depths of your heart.

You wear it well,
The proud scars that life and all it’s hardships imparted,
Bronzed in beauty your glow never fades but continues to bloom in adversity.

I can never stop craving you,
One glance and I’m in a trance, prey to your magnetic pull,
Begging me to touch.
Skin to skin,
We are one,
One then, now...... forever.
~ShanaySoignée

-

There were many things I could have said;
And of them all “I hate you” was the nicest.

-

This is where we part ways;
Where confusion ends and options meld.
Some stories are not made to be told,
And some feelings aren’t made to be expressed.
They are made to be known and to be felt;
To be understood, analyzed and interpreted,
Into something greater than the raw product.
More special than empty shells, and more beautiful than the last rose petal waiting to fall to its demise.

-

“I’ll never hurt you that way..”
I’ve heard it once,
I’ve heard it twice,
but, It never hits the same.
The pace is always different but the pain that still washes over, is just insane.
“I’m sorry”
“I didn’t mean it”
“it was a mistake...”
How can words so easily spoken mean so little to you?
Did you not know what was at stake?
if only you knew the true value, how invaluable.
The vulnerability you’ve chosen for me,
why do it?, why give it?
This..., this heartbreak,
This incapable feeling of not being loved,
No, not this,
Here we go again,
Being left with this heartbreak..
~ShanaySoignée

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