don't be sad if people change, no they don't change, actually they show their true colours — % &

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Millions of people will sweet talk to win your good heart only to sell it to their selfish needs
But only a handful, may care to value who you are
Again, only a few may empathize your pain
And again, only a very few stick to your by your side, no matter what you go through
Finally and sadly, only one or two is there
Out of this sweet fake smiling world
Ready to stab your back, either your happiest or hardest moment
Ready to love you, the way you deserve — % &

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This year made me realize that one day the gold loses it's luster, losing it's value like the previous times. So to get back the old glory, in need, it's really fine to use cyanide to shine again.

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I'm stopping slowly to expect for real. But does it mean I lose hope ? Not at all. I'm learning to know where to keep up my hope, which are the things which assure me that it would be fixed back again like my happy days, my success, my life's stability, my relationship with my parents, my siblings and my love for myself or a few beautiful bonds I cherish and where to stop expecting, slowly let go in their own pace, inorder to hurt and investment myself less, for good, like, a dead end relationship, one sided romance, a betrayed or a ghosted friendship or any kind of bond showing red flags and expecting to earn respect from people who actually gaslight, manipulate or take advantage of my benevolent side. A lesson learnt hard way but worth the pain.

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From listening love songs dedicating to you to listening those same love songs dedicating my closest person as well as me. Love that's a whole lotta journey. As funnily, not only time changed you but also me.

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Invoking Vengeance Tonight

The moon was as dark as the blood I have made to bleed, tonight
The cold wind invoking me to wake up send shivers down your spine
The tree sold out in a silhouette as dark as my desire
Reaching out it's branches like a enchantress
Like me, ready to ravish, your dark side
That side which marches down to the end of your life
Like my favourite dessert, yearns my days
To savour it; watch it crushing down like the pills which make you high, you and I
What's the pleasure you might ask ?
It's not pleasure but vengeance
Maybe your wounds inflicted by me
Could heal my wounds inflicted by you
You had my heart but burned it black
So dark that sun couldn't even see
Now this darkness of mine will wrap you
Till you suffocate while the undertow
Dragging you to an abyss with no end
And you to be never found again

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Ultraviolence

The sky wore a blanket of grey clouds
Sighed a relief of slow cold wind
The mud and moss lined round my soles
As I walked towards the grave
Lifting out my black veil which concealed
My face which could have been read
Placing a cluster of foxgloves along with a bunch of daturas
Finally, you have rest in peace
Ceasing the days of your ultraviolence
Expressed. What for ? To keep my silence
From ? The abuse, which is used in the name of love
The only time you smiled when I cried
Peace was never an option to you, when you were alive
So I had to find my peace by letting you rest in peace
Now rest in peace and let me live in peace
Rest in peace, you and I, tonight

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Love that's dark

It was the night
Dark enough to sun feel cold and blind
Where he lays beside her
Made her skin as his favourite canvas
To create violent violet patterns, decorating her
Whereas she lays beside him
As her smirked lips and nails were stained
With her favourite shade of red
His blood, as crimson as the roses of their garden

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the gentle waves from the calm sea
washing away my tiredness and my worries

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Honestly saying, I do not need someone to totally understand me, I will still appreciate the humble trial to do so. The genuine effort to sit back and listen to my issues both in my words or in silence. I might never ask for solutions even but atleast I need the company, a support that I can. But it hurts like hell when someone just refuses to show a minimal compassion and constantly invalidate your feelings.

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