Sobhan Pramanik







Oh! poor man, Freedom was never so little, so tameable as to be crushed in your fist. It had always been a milling two way street; and the only way forward is to stop and make way for others. For everyone. To live.

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What's hugely distressing, sardonic and unpardonably hypocritical, and in all probability is leading our society down helpless despair and imparity is, where a happy looking man in neat, ironed clothes at work, carrying lunch boxes packed with delectable, sumptuous food is attributed to being blessed with wonderful and loving wife; is, on the contrary, audaciously endorsed as a disciplinarian with so-called high morals, when she starts panicking of being late with a meeting extending beyond 8, afraid of being rebuked; when she never makes it to team dinners at swanky hotels, skipping glittery evenings of lavish cuisines and flowing alcohol, lying of ill health or responsibilities at home, reprimanded by 'the man' and in-laws; when on a shopping spree she unwillingly racks away that exquisite one piece that held her just right at the waist, with plunging shoulders giving her butterflies as she turned to the trial room mirror, feeling 21 all over again, complaining of coarse texture in a rather fine material, half imagining the scalding parallels that would be drawn at home afterwards. Well, why do you think we even need feminism? The fact that one needs to be handed out pre-set rules about how they must interact and go about human beings of a particular gender, speaks galore of our incompetency as a community. The fact that one has to probed in the eye with demands of equality only goes to reveal our lopsided idea about a perfectly balanced society. In other words, feminism, like a bottle of disinfectant, is more for us, men to wash clean their vision, redevelop and align their deranged ideals along the common line of humanity; shifting their fulcrum of prejudices to the centre of this see-saw, of what could be an egalitarian world. More so for the poor man to know that freedom was never so little, so tameable as to be crushed in his fist. It had always been a milling two way street and the only way forward is to stop and make way for others. For everyone. To live. © Sobhan Image - Wallpapers Craft #yqbaba #yqtales #women

13 OCT 2017 AT 16:55

Love, in its quest for truth, wants as bad to be wounded as it wishes to triumph.

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I remember keeping your rose in an empty beer bottle on the bedside stool, as I got home that night. Passing the stem through its mouth and withdrawing my fingers, letting it drop. Its petalled bulb coming to rest against the rim in a soundless thud. I do not know why I did that. On other days there would have been no bottle at the first place. Having never realized sense in the idea of a person dutifully showing up at my door and asking for a bagful of garbage, I personally took the trash out first thing in the morning, without anyone's asking, to a designated bin in the lobby for it to be picked from there. And likewise, with that habit, went the bottles too, emptied overnight in desperation. But that morning I was getting late, and so it all stayed in. Though I fell in line with my habits soon, that bottle with your rose in it never quite left its place. Not that I didn't want to, but I never remembered it was there. Until all the petals had fallen dried, their hue drained, their fragrance faded, their purpose lost; and that once green stock, reduced to a mere wilted line of black against the thick glass. May be there always is a thing called conscience that we choose to not pay heed. May be we all do know what awaits us before it really unfolds. Perhaps not the whole picture but that slightest of inkling, that undeniable tremor of vibes at our throat is always there, unlying, through everything. But the hazard in love is that it wants to get to the bottom of everything even when it’s a bottomless pit, and the imminent fall, its doom - seeking clear answers out of grave silences and be broken as ever; awaiting warm goodbyes from the unwelcoming who departed without a trace; and for everything there was to wither and lose fragrance before giving it all up. Love, in its quest for truth, wants as bad to be wounded as it wishes to triumph. May be it wasn’t sheer nonchalance after all that I left the rose there that day. May be we were destined to not happen: like the beer I solemnly chugged, knowing well it won’t get me drunk. © Sobhan #yqbaba #yqtales #philosophical

12 OCT 2017 AT 21:36

'Trust me, my feelings belong to no one but you, moored to your soul like sail boats at the harbour from being blown, for you to cut me loose with your own hands and row me ashore.'

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Let's just hug each other to sleep tonight. No, don't get me wrong - I am not saying you're unattractive or that you don't turn me on. Trust me, my feelings belong to no one but you, moored to your soul like sail boats at the harbour from being blown, for you to cut me loose with your own hands and row me ashore. Nor do I possess any dark desire for someone from the past either. If there was a way to click and save everything I see once I close my eyes, you'd know that as the heat starts to radiate from my loins, up my stomach and to my heart; I see just you. I see just you in colors of your skin crawling upon me: a fever under your chest, your areolas ripe; and our mouths submerged in the unsaid. That pinched wedge of skin on the inside of your thigh throbbing warm under my kneading palms where Ester bit you once, as you tried to bathe her on a cold day; and our pelvics pressed, like a cornice in rain, dripping lasciviously into each other. But tonight, let's just lie hugging each other, shrouded by the dark, permeated by the music of falling rain. Your head on my chest and my fingers doodling upon your collarbones. Tonight I wish to pursue you in quiet. Like the sun eventually rising on a storm-wrecked island: in complete silence, with the sea at rest. I want to count your breaths on my fingers and fathom the infinity we have spent loving each other. I want to lie sans any space between us in a tight embrace, feeling the breeze in your bones to decipher your guileless nights, wrapped in spewing demons or flowering meadows. To see how your hair slides off your face as you turn in sleep, like a wisp of wind passing, your lips gently parted. Do not misunderstand me, but tonight I needn’t our desires seethe, for the greatest depths are touched only in great silence and the truest loves often realized without the wanton striving to fuck. Let me just hug you, so I can touch your whole without any sound and still hear the loudest echo of everything that we are. © Sobhan #YQBaba #YQTales

2 OCT 2017 AT 21:31

--going away--
//a night left behind//

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you wouldn’t know this day coming. the 3 AM alarm buzzing by the pillow, and my dismissing it instantly, as if waiting, which I were in an acidic insomnia; before staggering through the dark hallway to your room. with a soft tap, i wait with my knuckles on the door’s shiny timber hearing you wake: the rustle of your clothes, your bare heels lowered to the marble. it’s always the same. platform number 2. sparing its somnambulist travellers the ardour of wandering. from the parallel of of the foot-over-bridge, i glimpse at the idle column of coaches beneath – freshly washed with water splashed on glass windows of AC cabins, its tail vanishing beyond the bright signal poles in night’s translucent mist. an IRCTC kiosk, half-opened, hosts a ring of travellers at its façade. sweet aroma of hard boiled tea wraps around the complex like gauge tightened over a wound. i purchase packaged water and tea through the crowd of tea-sipping, news-reading travellers, and head back to the coach. you’re on the lower berth. the VIP suitcase chained to a ring under the seat. the adjacent ones to be occupied from distant stations. in the cold hum of air-condition we drink tea, partly veiled from footsteps milling the aisle. only a fluttering blue drape of curtain to our humble guard of privacy. it’s 30 minutes to departure when i leave, ascending the same bridge out to the exit, feeling the moist tip of your fingers on my chin, and your lips on my forehead. back home, it’s still too early. close to 5, the air quiet. cold. the horizon ablush and trees dewy. i lay to bed and immediately fall asleep. when you call to wish morning, I squint my eyes at the window looking down at me spilling hot light. you tell me about the station you just passed. i imagine of the sun risen on your back, of meadows rolling by bathed in day. may be joined by another traveler on the next seat. but you sure have missed this day. one that’s on my city. in my eyes. like an abandoned night in the wake of your absence. nights that the leaving shall never know of. © Sobhan Image - Wallpapers Craft #GoingAway #YQBaba

11 SEP 2017 AT 13:31

  --going away--
//the day before//

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the kitchen’s unusually quiet this morning. no clanking of pots or of water running down the sink. the counters too are clean; untouched. there’s no marinated meat glowing saffron in turmeric awaiting by the flame. only a pot of rice steams quietly on the oven, boiling starch bubbling to its neck. and next to it in a deep bowl, shimmers the last supper’s remains. i cut out the rice’s flame, looking for her. she is in the adjacent room, hauling from under the bed her maroon VIP suitcase. she racks messily folded sarees – Bengal Taant and South Indian silk – in its dusty hollow. a pharmacy envelope with her hypertension and B complex pills, ticked on its back: Morning-Night; is zipped to the side. an old Eveready torch rests between the clothes, and in a cotton pouch held by a drawstring, is her gold bangles, that she didn’t prefer wearing in travels. an elastic strap buckles over in a cross to hold things in place, before the lid comes down. click. i keep the ticket in her purse. with your Boroline and comb, letting her know. at lunch, we do not look at each other. silence stealthily crawling up my spine: like a damp millipede treading monsoon-earth as our toes brush under the table, mistakenly, and recede. i raise my fingers to forehead and lower it to the base of my neck; impulsively. she gets up from the table, looking away and i lower the full plates in the sink. it’s not just the person that departures steal from you. you lose your light too, caught in the gap they leave in your soul. © Sobhan #YQBaba #GoingAway Image - Wallpapers Craft

10 SEP 2017 AT 15:25