Growing up is a norm
Getting older is a fact
Years pass by
And you grow
Sometimes you outgrow in your capacity
Sometimes year's just pass by
Some times life happens for a reason
Sometimes life just happens
Growth is a constant
And a constant also means stability
An upward curve is not always growth
At times being constant is
As you grow, you realise
It's good for growth to happen in moderation
It's good if life is savoured bit by bit
Sip by sip, in relaxation
Then getting old is not just a norm
Or a fact
But a realisation that
Life can be fulfilling enough...

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These days I try to be the person
I used to be back then
Pretending to be that one,
Instills hope that I be happy again
Yet what I end up is
The same stale state I left
Fearing I would end up in the same place,
I started
I startle with disbelief
Cursing myself for who I am
For what I have been..
Yet to my reprise
It comes true if not real,
They say, be happy instead
&
I can't
Definitely not with this larking feeling
Of wanting to cry
Of wanting to be sad
Of wanting to be grumpy
Of wanting to be introverted soul
I can pretend to be happy thesedays
But cannot pretend happiness...

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This pain and sorrow
This uncomforting truth
And disturbing reality
I am faced to the World
I thought would not exist
Atleast for me
Everything was good
Right?
Sadness is just meant for others
I felt
Why would you just come
In the first place then
The more I felt the warmth
The more it affects now
I almost feel
Maybe I was good
all alone back then
But not alone now...

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It was all awkward
For the first time
On the first phone call
Hearing the voice for the first time
To have goosebumps
That momentary pauses
Taking time before thinking
Fast forward to
Those yawns over calls
To unfiltered laughs
They had moved fast the phase
From reluctance to acceptance forever...

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इवल्याशा बांगड्या त्या नाजूक हातात कशा दिसतील या उत्सुक्तेत ती माय आपल्या लेकरासाठी जणू आनंदच शोधत होती.

(Read in Caption)

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It feels difficult
To choose
Between what you want from Life
To What life has to offer
Former requires courage
To step out of comfort
And set on a trail
While latter lets you choose
Between the options you have
Guess its easier to choose
Than to set out on new path
Thats what everyone does
Thats why life is more or less similar
Not unique...

-

These are repetitive
Constantly pestering
They flood my mind
Just after the other
I respond and it talks
I engage and it reacts
The only constant being
The 'presence'
Its been more times
That I have reacted
Yet it stands still
Now its chaos,
A constant echo
Making me feel fed up of
Bothering continuously
Its just 'thoughts' maybe
Until i feel its turned to hell...

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" These thoughts really scare me
They seem so true
What if they turn up real? "

Heartbeats rush faster
To the tune of thoughts
Its weird to explain
Yet so true to feel
Its long away from reality
Still seems so real
Maybe that's why it exists
In 'co-existence' with mind
Making a person vulnerable,
Extremely anxious and
Lost of any solace
In living...

-

I worried a lot
I worried about things turning scary
If I ever locked the house well
If I ever turned off the geyser
I worried for the gas knobs
What if I leave them open
And later I also worried
About thoughts which brought in worry
Was it just imagination
But I almost ended up
Thinking of a disaster
And quite later
I realized, I ended up seeking nothing
The other day
I decided to put the baggage down
It was then I knew
How good it was
To be free of any thoughts
How better it felt
When I just worried less..

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Of piping hot jalebis and warm milk by the side,
in that rustic little place, where we laughed out
sweet moments of life...
(READ IN CAPTION)

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