what did i dream of
what did i get
what did i thought of
and that thought now i regret
i remorse collecting the pieces of my shattered heart
in hope to not let it ever fall again
yet the thought is not what i thought of
it was just an edge away to splatter again
all pieces lie in different direction
gazing at each other
hopefully looking up to togetherness again
who knew that hope was hollow
bit and pieces of togetherness would follow
just a fragment survived rest all are dead
even that possess a major threat
threat of the unbearable pain it alone has to face
threat of survival till the finish of the race
today is the night it is attacked again
today alone the sliver fights all the pain
it faught and faught till the breath it could
the longest it last,
last breathe it took
leaving body heartless was now the only truth
what lead to the loss was uncanny
It looks unknowingly
threat to the death served its uttmost destiny

-

Love : A perfect nostalgia

I open the gate to my dream world everynight
in search for you in every sight
the world that has you but belongs to me
the universe in which i see you but has holds of me
I hold the anchor of that world of mine
To never let you escape
I catch hold of every breathe i have
to detain you in that safety case
I trumble here and there to move further
to reach to you and be with you forever
it seems
the faster i move,the farther you go
the harder I shove,the lesser you show
I jumble to find the definition of this scene
Is it real or just a nostalgic dream
after all the struggle
at one fine sight
I see you.....yes I do
I run and run as fast as I can
To touch you with my hand
the very moment I am about to catch you
And
Its morning
I am awake and its time to hit the reality

-

दिल में मेरे कई एहसास छुपे है
बता भी ना पाऊँ ऐसे राज़ छुपे है
राज़ तो उस एहसास का महज़ एक नाम है
इस दिल में तो कई अनजाने जज़्बात छुपे है
जज़बात ऐसे जिसकी अब कोई एहमियत ना रही
ऐहसास ऐसे जिसकी अब कोई किमत ना रही
एक वक्त था जब इसके मायने अलग थे
एक वक्त था जब ये औरों से अलग थे
अब तो ये महज़ एक खाक़ है
आग के बूझने के बाद की ये राख है
एक झटके में नहीं, हर दिन बदलते देखा मैंने इसे
एक पल में नहीं ,हर दिन तिनका -तिनका मरते देखा मैंने इसे
दुख़ इस बात का नहीं कि अब इनमें वो बात ना रही
अफसोस है कि अब इसमें वो पहले वाली जान ना रही
बेजान भी ये किसी और की वजह से हुई
बदकिस्मती से अब उसे इसकी परवाह ही ना रही
अब बस इस राख़ का आसूं में बहना बाकी रहता है
अब बस इस एहसास का साथ छोड़
दिल को पत्थर बनाना रहता है

-

it hurts....isn't
staying numb in between chatters
staying dumb when world flatters
feeling darkness when there is light around
feeling hopeless for the life that surrounds
it hurts isnt
when you are left alone no matter what uh try
it hurts isnt
when people judge uh without knowing ur inside cry
it hurts isnt
when uh see urself becoming brittle day by day
it hurts isnt
when uh cant stop the real you sway
it hurts isnt
knowing uh are an utter different person
knowing uh are completely empty of your fullest version
it hurts isnt
when all day uh spend was talking is now quiet
it hurts isnt
to swallow thoughts and tears than cry
it hurts isnt
to see bit by bit everyday your soul die
it hurts isnt
yes it does

-

sleepless nights turned painful today
without you beside
the bed pricked like thorns today
causing wounds that ached badly
causing blemish that were hidden deeply
I tried searching cure at every sight
but couldn't find the one that could serve right
switching sides i passed the whole night
how difficult survival is today i realised
i could hear the sound of the every breathe i took
i could hear the early morning bird that Cooed
new day began yet i felt the same
i still felt empty and lame
i waited for a kiss on my forehead to begin my day
i yearned for a tight hug to start my day
but a confined silence was only that
i could sense
my lonesome soul was only that i could sense
I saw everybody cheerfull when i looked around
there was lot of hustle in the world around
but
all i could feel was
my world possessed a never ending silence without you around

-

The charm in smile i carried
has faded now
it was pale before
but it is vanished now
all that remains is the abandoned soul
who once faught for love
for the love that I cared for
for the love I baited my life for
for every trust I offered
was broken not once or twice
but thrice
for the last time hesitating
I offered my trust
my soul my love
because I thought you are the ailment
to my aching core
I thought you were healing me
but no
uh broke me even more

-

i sat beside uh today
with the numbness between us
there were no words spoken
no glances shared
no smile that turned to laughter
an awkward silence that resides
numerous feeling abundant emotion
which uh should care to hear
for i got stories written in my eyes
which uh should care to read
but seeing no botherance
those stories didnt search for words
they decided to follow alternative
they followed the path of tears
tears as it flowed
caused the deepest scars
the scars that now has no cure
the tears now has no home
what was the misdeed
i couldn't decide
what was wrong in speech
i couldn't decide
despite all wrong
just one thing got right.
i learned the talent to stay blank
with the fake spark in my eyes

-

love that i knew was pure
but uh gave me another version of it
care and selflessness were the attributes i had known
but uh gave me the real meaning of it
reality of selfishness that lies
reality of fake care that relies
on confession
ur words had some magical meaning
reality of which was totally demeaning
i appreciated ur version of love for a while
i wish i had realised its fakeness a bit early
i wish i had known the consequence a bit early
shattered every bit while i bled
uh left me alone
treating me like a wrath scrap
i was there for uh whenever uh felt discomfort
i constantly supported uh in all ur ups and lows
y did uh turn ur back on me today
when i needed uh the most
show me ur love in action not words
care for me with satisfaction not chore

-

तेरे इश्क़ की गहराई में
डूब जाने का मन करता है
तेरे पास न होने पर उस तनहाई को
गले लगाने का मन करता है
ये फासलों के दायरे
बरदाश नहीं अब मुझे
तेरे साथ ना रह कर भी
तेरा साथ निभाने का मन करता है

-

lost you once and found you again
hid my love for you inside me ;
till i can have you again
unbelievable it is
unreal it seems
dreaming you in my captive
lethal is the feeling of lonesome now
your love is my only sedative
seduce me for love
seduction to which i would surrender happily
hurt me for love
for which i may bleed happily
tear me apart for trust
for which i may rot happily
heal me for you
for which i may offer happily
holding back now is tough game to play
lets deal with it the easy way
to be with you is all i desire
the purity of essence of love
is all i admire
for the sake of vows
i would easily offer my chastity
all i require now
is to bleed with the wounds of your love
all i require for you to be all above

-