What if time dosen't do what it's supposed to do

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Seldom the rarest one of all
get the unique
treasure of problems

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I gasp and gulp
I drown in my own yelp
In my own dreams, so wild and unrealistic
that tie my feet and pull me in abyss
Hence now I dream dreams
Dreams influenced not by me
I strive, I grieve
I hoard and pause for breathing deep
My own fears pushing me down
My own decisions dethroning me and snatching my crown
my brain shutting, my lungs kicking
Hands thrashing, striving, struggling
Even when I lie dead with a sword over my head
Words are my saving grace

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While pretending to be sad , got so lost , so fast
Didn't realise.. now I have to pretend to be happy

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END ; what is it
tell me how to configure that shit
END ; what is it ,
The wind of defeat maybe it is
Maybe the whiff of unattainable victory and unfathomable conclusions
Or maybe just the contemplation of a fatigued brain

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Dont be rude , don't be malicious
Don't be judgemental , don't be traitorous
Don't be that grey clouds people wish to paint with vibrant colours
Don't be the fine splinter , don't be a huge gash
Don't be heartlessly hurtful , don't be unrighteously doubtful
Don't be that abrupt rain people hope to surpass for a worthwhile rainbow stain
Don't be the bully , dont be assumptious
Don't be difficult , don't be precarious
Don't be the maddening fear that people wish to terribly squish and disappear
Don't be darkness , don't be cynical
Don't be sleazy nor a selfish prude
don't be provocative nor self absorbed brood
Because someone might be at 999th cut and your push just might be the reason for death by thousand cuts

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the demon resides within me ,
I fear not the darkness ,
I fear the real me ,
my feelings , my actions ,
my apathy my distractions
Destroyed by this world
I destroy everything near me
Inclined to every sort of illusion
now awakened by reality
I don't fear the darkness as
the darkness is me

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The calm and serene mind was just an illusion ,
Tranquility , a sore unreal precision ;
Anxiety an unwelcomed but permanent guest ,
No choices left but surely alot of decisions . numbness was never a plausible option ,
Hardships and sacrifices always at run ,
Never-ending miseries and worthless shenanigans ;
Now even in warm sun , I crave cold nuisance .
Exhausted beyond control , half-dead and old but In this battle , I still stand straight , unrattled and bold .

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No ! You're not lost
Just in the blind spot

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It's hard to succeed when no one's rooting for you to !

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