I forgot to reply to your texts, left them on read.
Inside me:
You were just getting on my nerves!

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A true and a lie
While I write, I write the truth, but with a mix of lies-
A world within another, of imaginations in reality,
A little sense in a mess, a dimension running parallel:
Only a lot happier!
Only a fool would search for red in a palette of grey;
But I know not of the truth, nor do I believe the tales
As words are mere illusions, twisted and turned at will!

-

I saw a blatant beauty after an apocalypse-
The strength after several years of weakness.
Hope, in Pandora's jar, flickered close to the hearth
The small glow that could fade away any time;
You believed it to be the end, but it was a new light,
The hope of freedom glowed red in the coals,
The fire in the fireplace, could hardly provide any warmth;
A heart too exhausted, eyes too overworked
And now, even hope wanted to find a new space;
Beyond all the sleepless nights, above all pains,
With the stars, that a journey was going to commence;
It didn't hurt as seventy years flashed in a beat:
Some memories did probably, but they won't anymore.
But you had to feel everything once, for the last time,
The earthly smell, the ambiance, people,
Delicious food, and maybe even the birds twittering!
You saw, some teary eyes, heard a beeping noise,
You held my gaze for two seconds perhaps, and then
With a deep inhale, you let go of all the weight,
The doctor then said: "I'm sorry, she couldn't be saved!"

-

Having the courage to keep going, no matter what!

-

What am I?
A girl princess or a witch?
Stuck in an identity crisis
A barbie perhaps or maybe Annabelle?
Is it all in my mind?
Is it too dark inside?
Or is it light as it feels quite empty
Just questions one on top of another
Piling up, loads of them,
And again a new lot
But who am I?
Does it even matter to anyone?
No, it seems that it doesn't.
But sometimes they are reminded of me
Magically, in times of their need
Am I being too judgemental?
Or am I going crazy?
Will they say I am seeking attention?
Or do they have a heart?
Maybe even theirs is void somehow!
Do people think before saying?
Am I also rude at times?
Do I even get on their nerves
Like the way they get on mine
Do I even make sense as I write?
I have an answer to none
Just some more questions in every minute.

-

Intoxicated
Drunk in the stench of time
Having not enough,
Yet enough to lose somehow;
Madness and intoxicating
The love of this elixir of truth,
That plays with sanity,
And cures the insane;
Mysterious, deceptive
As there are diamonds outshone
By those rare esteemed faces!
But I am an alcoholic
One who knows it all-
Yet drowned in that magical brew.

-

Doubts

What if it is again a ‘she’ born under this roof?
Will I be able to forgive myself yet again?
After nurturing her for nine long months
When the river swallows her without refrain?
Hearing the piercing cries and tiny helpless hands
Struggling to remain afloat, searching for a mother’s lap
Do they ever understand the intensity of birth pangs?
Or the dread of losing a tiny innocent heartbeat
Beautifully crafted in those tedious moments?
Will they be able to forgive me for the third time?
My incapability! How will I be able to face them
When another daughter is discarded into the river?
In a place where a ‘she’ is thought to be a burden
Please let it be a boy, not a girl again.

-

Be more careful of your surroundings. Don't trust people. And definitely don't fall in love with anyone. Before giving your heart to someone let them prove their worth. And don't cry because of some random guy. This life isn't much serious as you are taking it. Don't be tensed always. This society doesn't care about you as much as you think they do. Just relax. It's okay. Everything is ok, everything will be alright. You are a great girl. Don't lose your self confidence. Enjoy life and gather more memories otherwise you will regret later. And lastly love yourself!

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The answer of which differs from person to person.

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I went to JGEC like a wanderer in search of something to hold on to, but now I know that the beauty of this process is just because of these companions who had warmly welcomed me without even knowing me. Someday I hope to meet them again and complete my unfinished saga.

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