If I die tonight, will you miss me?
Will my non-existence cause a gap in yours?
I think not.
I am an after thought that fades
in a moment's passing.
A flicker of light in your already bright room.
I will not matter.
If I die tonight, will I miss you?
Oh yes, I will.
My body will turn into dust and
sleep with the earth,
but my soul will linger and watch over you.

-

I want to be that secret love song
playing softly inside your head,
the music you listen to in silence,
and the melody you hum
to keep nightmares at bay.

-

it was not the kiss.
it was the feel of your
hand against mine.
the warmth.
the racing pulse under
the thin skin of your wrist.
the way the lines of
our palms meet and
part ways like destiny.
the way you anchored
yourself to me, sweet
and unassuming.
the way our hands linked
our hearts.

it was not the kiss.
the feel of your hand in mine
planted love in this old soul.

-

the night arrived with grace.
let us disrupt the darkness that covers us.
love me to oblivion.

-

i swallowed my pride like
a liter of liquid detergent.
smooth.
bitter.
poisonous.
bubbles erupted from my mouth
and carried my secret laughs
to a place where
my mother won't hear.

-

and when i'm close to begging for your love,
i bite my lips and taste desperation flowing
between the gaps of my teeth.
no. i won't beg.
i will love myself.
but loving myself tastes like blood.

-

i am married to the moon.
the sun is my lover.
the stars are past paramours.
and you
are the universe
who held them all together.

-

I loved life before I even took
my first breath.
And from non-existence,
I have loved death.

-

I just realised,
not writing
is dangerous
to my health.

-

painting promises on the wall:

I will eat properly. I will call mother more.
I will forgive myself. I will not hate the face in the mirror.
I will watch sunsets and not cry. I will watch sunrise and not cry.
I will dance under the rain. I will enjoy my faults.
I will celebrate the harsh lines on my face.
I will stop tracing my skin with blades.
I will love me.

Monday dawned and the morning light
touched the bland white wall.

-