I don't want to write expressing my emotions.
I don't want to tell the world how frustrated I am.
I don't want others to know how bad I feel for not being recognised for the efforts I put everyday.
I don't want to scream "I NEED HELP!".
I don't want to tell you about the existential crisis that looms on me everyday.
I don't want you to know how much I envy your life.
I don't want to tell you how I am lost looking for perfection.
I don't want to mention how much I miss someone to share my feelings with.
And above all...
I don't want to be a closed book that you can't read. — % &

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You know what?
I like working like an alcoholic.
It keeps me stress free. It keeps me diverted.
It makes me feel like I deserve all the happiness,
It makes me feel confident.

And on the days when there is no work...
I feel dead. From inside, from outside.
There is no learning. There is no progress.
It just feels like stagnant water, developing insects.

With time, I am understanding myself better.
Who am I? What's my purpose? Where was I wrong? What could have been better? And with all that... I can say, I am a student for life. Learning each and every day. Getting better at life. And this course has no end point. A perpetual course that I have signed up for.

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It took a lot of courage for me to be vulnerable around you.
It took a lot of courage for me to break down in front of you.
It scares me deep down. It makes me go "Aaaaaaa".
It makes me feel weak. It makes me go bizarre.

But the question is.....
Do you have the courage to accept me this way?
Do you love me enough to accept me with my flaws?
Do you have faith on me that I'll live with grace?
Do you have that trust in me that I keep trying my best?

Because if you can't.
Then I am sorry my friend,
You are affecting me mentally.
And I am not a "care machine".
I am just another random person,
Living, learning, surviving, struggling,
And if possible......caring!

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"....And I just want to tell you one thing.... I am proud of you. Doesn't matter what happened, I know you're trying your best....."

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Moving on to a new place.
Your mind simply is not in a proper space .
"Where's that peace", you wonder.
Experiencing different emotions you wander.

Trying to find yourself you're walking down a path.
You don't know where its leading you, still you walk that path.
Some things scare you on your way,
Still you walk, and you'll keep walking no matter how much it is far.

At the end of the day, why you can't feel it?
At the end of the day, why are you still struggling?
Why there's no standing ovation?
And where is that internal motivation.

You look around, and you look for answers.
You talk to people, and you seek those answers.
You look inside, its all fuzzy there,
Still there must be something that you wanna hear.

So you accept this 'incomplete' completeness,
And you smile and wave.
Because whatever happens, it should not affect you.
Because that's how life goes on my friend!

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There's not much to say.
I know things are not what you can say is best.
There are struggles, there is some pain,
Still you are a hero running in the rain.

No! It is not going according to your plan,
You are confused why you're getting fans.
It is hard for you to accept that you can be loved,
But still you smile in the rain and dance.

You doubt your steps, you doubt your existence
Yet you are in love with everything that is present.
Reassuring yourself that it's all for good,
Hoping that your destiny is planned and it's good.
You are running through everything that comes your way,
And bro! Trust me your stories as a legend will always stay.
Yes! Your stories will always stay.

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Tonight. I'll write.
The story of the coolest kid breaking down.
Tonight. I'll write.
About the most sincere girl going crazy on random tune.
Tonight. I'll write.
Of a slowpoke practicing brevity.
Tonight. I'll write.
Of a boomer's heart full of teen spirit.
Tonight. I'll write.
About the people I accidentally met.
Tonight. I'll write.
About myself who got immersed in them.
Tonight. I'll write.
About how close we can be and how distant we are.
Tonight. I'll write.
To tell you how beautifully life can mold us into a star.
Tonight. I am going to bed with a lifelong memory.
Tonight. I know I have made a choice that'll positively impact my story.

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It's beautiful.
Not the destination but the journey.
I look around.
And I see happy travellers.
Some of them travelling alone.
Some of them in couples.
Some of them are in a bunch.
And some...
Just narrators, like me.
People like a flowing river,
Making and breaking paths on their way,
No more stagnant water,
Who just stays and breeds diseases.
Some have purpose,
Some are just having fun.
Some of us are path makers,
And some just travelling on a shown path.
We are different,
But that's the beauty, my friend!
Otherwise, this journey would be of no use.
And destination....well I guess that's not defined.
And to be honest, I don't even mind.

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Isn't it beautiful?
You don't expect anything.
You just live. Each day. Day after day.
And you fall in love..
With everything around you!
With everyone around you!

Isn't it beautiful?
To feel happy about yourself.
To know you still have a place.
To hug the other person and feeling the warmth of the love you share.

Isn't it beautiful?
To live again with the same joy
that you had lost.
To know you're still a child.
And feel that innocence around you.

Isn't it beautiful?
To be a part of that much needed therapy,
Which only a few can understand.
To finally feel a healing heart,
Which was breaking every day.
To understand that life is something to be lived.
And not just to run for something specific.

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