Nightmare

I remember being sent out in the cold,
I was about six years old.
Whatever the reason baffles me to this day,
I never thought it'd be an overnight stay.
I sat on the concrete, hoping someone would come,
Silly me for being so dumb.
The pigs must have noticed me there,
And that was the beginning of my nightmare.
I was in their space and they weren't friendly,
I tried my best to stay away so they'd leave me be.
The smell of them got worse every second that passed by,
I wanted to sleep so badly, just curl up and die.
I don't know how I got through that night,
I remember being grateful for the sunlight.
The door was opened and a shocked face stared at me,
I was told to "get inside that's not where you should be".

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Happiness...

I thought happiness was an easy thing to obtain,
Yet I just can't help but relive my childhood pain.
I've tried to let go and bury my past,
I started to smile, I thought it would last.
But memories take me right back to the day,
Emotions are tough, feeling the same way.
Back at square one as I fell to the floor,
Reliving all the evil torture once more.
I just want it to stop, I know it was wrong,
I don't want people telling me I'm strong.
I don't feel strong when I'm knocked to the ground,
Reliving a memory I thought would never be found.
I blocked a lot out to help when I was a kid,
Now Pandoras box has got no lid.
With no warning memories spew out here and there,
Showing me all the people who were supposed to care.
The words they once said echo in my ears,
Messing with my head after all these years.
How do I heal these wounds you can't see?
I just want a normal life so I can be happy.

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You are my king and I am your queen,
A bond like nothing this world's ever seen.
When we're together our souls react strong,
We know we're exactly where we belong.
Our love continues to grow each and every day,
Words just can't express what we want to say.

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My heart is in pieces, I can't do this anymore,
Constantly picking myself back up off the floor!
Emotions rocketing through the sky,
I feel myself questioning why?
Tears building up in my eyes,
As I start to realise,
I fell for the lies!
Wanting something so bad,
It drives you mad.

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How stupid do I feel right now,
Go ahead, you take your bow.
Had me under some kind of spell,
Now I see clear, and I can tell.
You really ain't anything special,
I stupidly put you on that pedestal.
Building you up as you knocked me down,
Never defeated, I still wear my crown.
Watch as I turn this pain into power,
And you my friend will surely cower.

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One day it won't be so bad,
And you won't feel so mad.
So raise your head,
You are not dead.
Find the positive every day,
Soon you'll find your way.
One bad day is not the end,
Keep on going my friend!
A smile can be found,
You just need to look around.
Find your people by being you,
Love your life and all that you do!

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The way I feel whenever you are around,
Is enough to knock me straight to the ground.
What once was there has now been destroyed,
Hearts shattered, and souls stuck in a dark void.
No longer a loving embrace shared together,
Yet the heart felt memories will remain forever.
Time will heal the pain that's deep down inside,
Reminding me it's OK for the tears I've cried.

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I never thought I'd end up feeling like this,
You weren't someone that I should miss!
My heart was broken once more,
Now tears begin to fall to the floor.
Why does it hurt like this,
You weren't someone I should miss!

-

We found each other when we were all broken inside,
In a dark place where most demons usually reside.
We walked together arm in arm as we battled through,
There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for you.
I helped build you back up and watched as you grew,
Then it seemed like there was no us....just you.

I slipped back to the darkness to hide my pain,
But eventually everything slowly drove me insane.
After all this time why does it hurt so much?
Why do I yearn for your touch?

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Depression

So the thoughts just decide to flood right back,
Especially when your head goes a bit off track.
That feeling that you once used to get,
Comes back strong making it hard to forget.
You try your hardest to block it all out,
But now your heads filled with so much doubt.

Visions replay one by one as you spiral out of control,
Switching off or disassociating is your end goal.
But now you're a crumpled mess on the ground,
Searching around yet there's nothing to be found.
It drains you completely as you slowly admit defeat,
Some of your demons are going to be harder to beat.

You can't just give up though, you've got to plod through,
Try to live your life as best you can and be true to you.
Bad days will come and go no matter what you do,
Take the time to heal your trauma, so you can be you!
Enjoy those good moments, don't dwell on the bad,
Try to be happy, don't live your life sad.

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