Pain may leave,
wounds may heal,
but scars remain,
reminding
the horror
and the silence
of the dark nights,
stayed awake
with trembling heart.

-

Why do people romanticize or glorify grief? Why do they say that today's pain become tommorrow's happiness? Why do they say that it makes us stronger? Are we merely afraid of pain and grief that we can't even embrace it?

No pain and grief are beautiful. Pain is always pain and loss is always loss. It doesn't make anything more beautiful. So better embrace the pain and carry it, rather than thinking of the future happiness, which doesn't have anything to do with the current pain.

-

And on days I realize what I miss.
The smile,
which makes your lips bloom like a bud,
revealing the depth of your dimples.
The smell of your perfume,
mixed with your sweat
intoxicating my senses.
The touch your fingertips
burning my skin,
making my cells happy.
The flow and flaws of our talks,
the magic of each words.
The serenity in your arms,
looking at the distant lights in the night.
The belongingness in your soul ,
cause my mere existence seems
meaningful only with you,
my mystery and beauty
works only with you.

-

I used to live near paddy fields,
near a river.
There I saw the most beautiful
sunsets of my life.
I saw evening sun painting the sky in blood red
I saw river flowing like golden glitters
I saw paddy waving goodbye to the setting sun in the evening breeze
In the monsoon, the water filled paddyfeilds looked like a diamond mine
And I know that those numerous
sunsets made me what I'm.
I may lose my way,
but the memory of,
the warmth and shine of
those sunrays seeping to my heart,
always pulls me back to where I belong.

-

I don't want you to
come and light up my world,
spread the rays of happiness,
or make strokes of colours.
Because if you do
what will be left
won't be me.
I live in this darkness,
in the silence of the nights.
So if you want to come,
come to the darkness,
come closing your eyes,
embrace my chaos
and unpredictability.
Cause then you will see
through my soul and my heart.

-

I'm so dark,
dark like charcoal.
You will never see me,
because either I will be in darkness
or you will be in light.
But all I need is a flame
to light me up.

-

What if it's so dark
that you won't be able to find the way?
Will you still come in?
What if it's a mysterious jigsaw puzzle
with missing pieces?
Will you still try to complete it?

-

I still keep your
empty perfume bottle.

And each time,
every single time
I smell it,
it reminds me of the nights
I slept in your bed,
holding you passionately.
It reminds me of nights
we stood embracing,
looking at stars.

And in every crowd,
I look for your smell
which makes me weak.

-

what it felt.
Memories can fade,
but feelings can't;
the way my heart pounded
on your smile,
your glare and your touch.
The way my heart desired
for your smell.

-

I'm obsessed

with your smell,
the way you hold me,
how your fingers cross mine
the way your soft lips press my cheeks

But you came in the wrong time ,
in wrong self
I can never hold you back
I can never show you how I feel.

-