You said you never wanted me to leave.
But that's the thing, you never asked me to stay either.

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There's no hope for a better tomorrow.

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It's those moments of vulnerability which is so difficult to go through without them. The urge to go back to that person, rant your heart out like before and hear them comfort you like they used to is so difficult to resist.
You forget your self-respect, your self-esteem.
You just want to go back to what you believed was your home.

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We don't let go of things because we consciously want to hold on to our past. We keep searching for possibilities to get back what's gone because we are scared.
We are scared to move on.

We are scared of meeting new people, opening up to new people, opening up to new experiences. We are scared of the new things that will come our way. We are scared of going through that process of loving, trying to know somebody or letting somebody peek into our lives all over again.

So we keep trying to hold on to the ones we love already or the ones we are comfortable with, even if mistreatment comes our way, because we are scared of a new beginning.
We don't want a new story to begin because we are scared that it might end, just like the previous one did.

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Why do I have to go on with life even though I don't want to?
Why do I have to get up everyday and pretend like everything's fine when my world has fallen apart?
Why is this struggle only for me and not for the ones who have wronged me?

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How could I ever look at you with no love in my eyes?

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And it just took a few seconds for everything to end. Just a few seconds after which all the promises, all the dreams, all the pictures didnot mean anything anymore.

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Tum aage badh gaye, main wahi ruki hun.
Tumne phirse mohobbat bhi karli, par main ussi dard mein jee rahi hun.
Tumne naye sapne bun liye, main abhi bhi un bikre yaadon ko samet rahi hun,
Tumne sab bhula bhi diya, par main abhi bhi duaaon mein tumhara naam leti hun.

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I thought we could be, but you didn't let us be.

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I'm stuck here, in this room,
The walls have your memories and
I cannot see through.

I don't wish to breathe,
I don't wish to continue.
It's dark here, that's true,
But why would I seek light,
when the darkness gifts me you?

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