taking ourselves back to the time when we wanted the answers to the "why me?".
The ones we never found out,made ourselves forget their existence and moved on eventually.
But did we really move on?
Some nights are made for reminding ourselves that what made our hearts yelp in the past are still there,looking for answers.
Perhaps they found them.
It's just that, it's not what they wanted to hear. It's something what they needed to listen.

-

I'm homesick for a place I've never been to.

-

"People leave. When the place doesn't feel right,they leave."

"Why does it always have to be like this ?"

"Perhaps they look for home. All they want is to feel at home."

"When are you leaving then?"

"Why would I? I am at home."

-

That phase we go through after separations or breakups is torturous for obvious reasons but the efforts we put during that phase to get ourselves together and make us realise that we matter,really shows our desparation to fix ourselves. It shows self-love and I think it's beautiful.

-

You might manage to escape numerous heartbreaks after that major one happened.
It could take years to prepare yourself for refusing to open your heart in front of anyone again.
Do you know what happens when you finally get there?
You are forced to take the risk again. Because, it's attachments we're talking about. When has it came under one's control?
But,it's okay. Don't hold back.
Go for it one last time.
This might be the last time you feel for someone.
This might be the last time when being vulnerable makes you feel secure.
This might be the last time you come closest to love.
This might be the last time it hurts so much.
Feel it one last time so that you never have to feel it again.
Say yes to one more heartbreak so that it teaches you to say no to the forthcoming ones.

-

Sins taste better as darkness gets homely. That voice inside our head telling us to commit misdeed gets louder with every unlikely experience we come across. The fear of guilt trip lies beyond the pleasure we feel from all the wrongdoings. Where our miseries end,irreverent acts start taking place.

-

what we all feel
for but not all of
us are fortunate
enough to be
felt for.

-

To the stars,
Replace the one who abandoned me. I miss telling someone how my day went.

-

And while I'm in the process of
rehabilitating myself,the
thought of running back to the
chaos often crosses my mind.
I might be so close to reaching
the destination I've been longing for,
agonizing myself over conflicts and
failures and I would still run away
from the middle of the road.
Insanity would take over me.
I would strive to lose myself.
I might never heal.
I will always be the girl who fantasizes
about sitting on the sea shore
at the dawn with a bottle of wine sticking to
her lips and tears drying up immediately
after they rolled down her cheeks,
imagining how things could have gone
differently and what would it be like to fix life.
It's the world I've been watching
and living in for the past few years
and it's starting to feel like home.
Never will I become the
person who chooses tranquility over turmoil.

-

People outgrow me faster than I expect them to. I'm not sure if that's something bad. People with no capability to stay are not supposed to be needed. Losing them is not a loss. Sometimes it's not even about me. It's about them,their lives and their choices. But everytime someone leaves,they help me to believe that I'm good all by myself. The craving for a companion somewhat fades away. Maybe that's something positive. But what hurts the most is that this can't be complained about to anyone because they might choose to stay out of pity even when they want to leave. So again I'm left with the option to pretend to be fine. And I'm guessing that if I have to pretend,maybe it's not a good thing.

-