~ A DAY BEFORE I DIED

A day before I died ,
As time to go crawled to my feet , relentless like regret ,
I smiled, like a flickering star hung to the night sky ,
I laughed till those echoes carved my name into the walls ,
And I danced to the beats louder than shatters of my heart.

A day before I died ,
I realised that star shines bright only in the dark,
The best of the days were never caged inside four walls,
And life still hums to the rustles of autumn leaves,
Waiting for the spring to linger just a little longer,
Cos sorrow disappears like rain drops falling on rivers,
Always ~~

A day before I died,
I tasted the sweetness of life can be in rising
Like a blazing sun over the horizon with hues of gold..
As a single stroke was never enough to paint a canvas,
I craved for a few more sips from life's fragile cup,
Cos the day I understood the rhythm of living was ,
The day before I died,
And still chose to live for the day next ,
Even though the darkness persisted to stay.

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~ DANDELION

Sprouting far away from manicured gardens,
I am a dandelion, nestled in cement cracks & wild grass
I bear no fragrance for honey bees to chase
Or dazzling hues for wandering eyes to gaze .
I am unstained, fluffed like a cloud , never meant to stay .

I am not a whimsical flower to be found in bouquets ,
Nor a crimson rose adored hidden between pages,
I am a breeze born , wildling flying away ,
A fleeting dream with the sky being my vase.

I am not a blossom found fallen on the ground ,
Or a floweret making it to paper with brush strokes ,
I am a wanderer gifted with florets to fly !
With my hopes broken into seeds,
I trust winds to carry my wishes beyond horizons,
And sow dreams Unshattered, brave & wild .

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~ CRAVING

I am scared to ask that I want LOVE ,
Like ordering a new dish from the menu ,
I fear what If it is served bland ?
Or It'll be just water with a fancy name !
Would I feel satisfied ? Or would regret wanting it ?
I am scared to take a bite and taste it ,
For I don't know, how a homemade meal
tastes like , a Lil bitter or burnt ?
Or sweet like jam i used to lick off the knife ?
Will it be spoonful yet enough to fill my stomach ?
Or It'll be on a over-served plate ,
enough to share with others !
I fear , being satisfied with my meal ,
What if I start craving & end up
Having to Beg for another feast !
I am Scared to ask that I want LOVE ,
For love has been like a hunger,
That can't be satisfied by people ,
Who were never spoonfed with care
And had to learn to be happy,
With the taste of leftovers on a plate .

-

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~ UNCERTAINTY

When it gets empty ,what shall I be thinking of ?
How to seal cracks so I might not fall apart ,
How to water desert, plant seeds & expect them to grow
or Those days , when I doubted " Is there a road ahead ? "
" Am I good enough for this? " ,
" Will I make it happen ?"

And I still made it with " I've never been this happy ! "
" It worked out eventually " , " Indeed I can !"
Because life unfolds through UNCERTAINTY,
Like Plants sprouting through cracks of old walls ,
Cactus storing water to survive in the desert ,
Adapting themselves through the harsh ..
They dont give up on surviving the worst..

Cause life also comes with a definite CERTAINTY
that it shall get better
EVENTUALLY & DEFINITELY
For those who stay there and say
" There's something better destined for me ,
Even though I can't see it now ! "

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OCEAN & ME

Oh, tell me touch of a wave can feel gentle
I've only heard the stories of storms..
Tell me those seashells didn't lose their home,
They just found the shore to make a new one..
Tell me, that the ocean meets her sun & moon
And they hide away from the world for a while,
Tell me, how fragile everything is,
That sand castle made by a kid,
Falling down by the touch of a hand ..
Those names & hearts drawn with finger tips,
Shying away as those waves come to tease...
Tell me, it was okay for those to be gone ..
There's lots of beauty in falling too ..
Tell me, the ocean is a calm place...
The sound of waves is her laughing out loud..
Tell me, There's a lot more beauty in things
That come to destroy and those which are destroyed
Just like me ..my heart .. the ocean and her shore..

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~ STORIES ~

I have a hundred stories to write,
About the smile a bird forms when it flies..
The softness , a seed hides with it's shell..
Love of waves running to their shore..
And pain of clouds when they rain...

Yet on some days, on some greyish nights
I chose ... not to be a poet
But to be the nature, telling you stories
Of leafs that fell, birds that migrate..
Mountains that hold sun on their crests
And oceans that swallow moon & her stars..

- so that, I can still be able to share stories
Sometimes through words...
And
Sometimes through sceneries..

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~ BLOSSOM

I look at the blossoming flowers,
And i wonder what do they really need?
To free themselves from the warmth
Of sepals enclosing them in a tight hug....
So they can grow their petals &
Peak at the vast blue sky..?
Or remain as a bud & hug those sepals back
Let those protect them from the rain & the sun
Through the cold winter & rushing winds ...

I ponder on what choice flower has to make?
To be a blossom or to be a bud
To bloom & leave the comfort of sepals
Experience the beauty of being a flower..
And spread their fragrance....
Or be a bud, craving to be protected
Fearing that their beauty will attract
The people who will pluck her off ,
And anguish the warmth they'll loose.. !

- the uncertainty of choosing between
Being protected `` a ruined bud..
&
Being free `` a wild flower...

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~ TREPIDATION ~

More than anything else,
I'm that timid star..
Who chose to hide herself from sky
Cos , she was no longer capable
of setting herself on fire
To emit light when darkness
Surrounds her every night . .
Who constantly fears falling down..
Cos everything she could think of
Is how it is going to ache her
Blemished body and bruised heart
The moment she finally hits the ground..

Even though the strength she gained
Through those endless dark nights ,
She is still ... that agitated star...
Who totally forgot, that a fallen star
Grants wishes of hopeless people
Who believe in the magic
She carries within her soul .....

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~ LONGING....

Perhaps, the treasure... I've ever longed..

Was a house, which doesn't feel like a void
When I don't have people to fill in my rooms
A shelter , where those four walls can stop
Rains that fall inside ,
A pillar, where I could lean my soul
When it is at the verge to scatter like lines in my poetry....
A room, where I have cupboards
To store faces I can't ask..myself to carry ..

And when I found it, during nights
Which taught me solitude in lonely hours..
I realised , I've always owned a home .....
In my own arms, within the edges of my heart
Wrapped in the warmth of my soul...
Which I neglected..
While .. Trying to find it in others....

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