My mom told me, "Study during the day so you can sleep at night".

My dad told me, " Study during the day so you can party at night".

-

Friendship is not only to be shown when I have gold in my pocket, it's also when I have a hole in my pocket.

-

I finally got a part time job in my city that is paying me 600 dollars a month.
Well, nothing grand.

-

The poor get Jealous
because the rich are rich.
The rich feel bad
for the poor being poor.

-

Don't be afraid of dying if you aren't going to fight the battle.

-

A year ago, I had written a book on my Virginity. I guess i lost it now.

-

You can never understand me.
My statements are paradoxical. My verses, oxymoronic. My thoughts are ironical. My vision, schizophrenic. I am a one-dimensional, unbiased, crazy little bloke.
Yes, an Anglophone bloke.

-

She said "You're so fat and I'm so thin, we don't make a good pair, we don't look good together".
He replied "I'm not sure whether we look good together but I'm sure we're happy together" and I guess that's what keeps a relationship going; happiness, love.

-

The scientist that fell sick the other day was the most ill-literate person I've ever seen.

-

I told I wanted a pastry.
I got an entire cake.

I insisted for a small ride.
I got a long trip.

I asked for a small morsel.
I got an entire dish.

I requested for a few pennies.
I got a whole pound.

Who made all this possible?
One superwoman, my mother.

-