It is funny how once your most favorite day in the entire year suddenly becomes so dreadful that you would do anything to just skip it.

3rd November. It all started on this day, three years ago! It was supposed to be our day.I have never felt this helpless. Just wondering how will I spend an entire day pretending to be all fine and smile when my head will just be filled with thoughts of us! I just hope buckets of ice cream and 'Dirty Dancing', 'Pretty Woman' and 'Notting Hill' help. Why can I not just get past it already? I feel so angry with myself sometimes. Why does it still bother me after everything you have put me through? Why can't thoughts of you just leave me alone? Why can't I just let you go?

I guess sometimes having a good memory really is a bad thing.

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Disappointment awaits the one whose idea of romance is acquired by extensive reading of 19th Century Classics along with Nora Roberts, Nicolas Sparks, Danielle Steel, Sandra Brown and every book ever published by Mills & Boons and not to forget, watching innumerable rom-coms.
Disappointment awaits people like me.
I also have my sun sign to blame. Pisces is supposed to be the most dreamy and romantic sign of all. For people like me, love is not just a word or a feeling, it is the basic need, only second to Oxygen. We feel things so deeply and give in whatever it takes to make things work between us and the people we love. We also expect them to reciprocate feeling and the intensity with which we feel about them. We share even the most insignificant details with them. We wait for our happy endings, our forevers and our Prince Charmings, that often leave us with scars that take everything we ever had, to heal. Heartbreaks devastate us. They take away from us the ability to feel and to love again. They make us vulnerable, insecure, sleepless and lifeless.
505 days have passed and what if I say I still would relive our magic even after knowing this is how it is going to end?

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Yet another Diwali passed and I still am miserably failing to move on from what happened on a Diwali night three years ago. 3rd November. How can I ever forget the date or that night when a casual flirting session turned into something so serious that was a part of us for two whole years! This Diwali, we were with different people, claiming to feel the same way about them they way we felt about each other, or maybe more. But, are we happy? If you were, why would you call me the other night to tell me that you missed me and that you wish that everything was the same as that Diwali night that changed our fate? And if I were, why would I know the exact feeling you were talking about?
Sometimes, I don't get it. Is life complicated or do we complicate things for ourselves?

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You are not alone if you have a good book to keep you company

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"When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you're not here, I can't go to sleep.
Praise God for those two insomnias!
And the difference between them"

-Rumi

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He didn't spoil me with flowers and chocolates. He spoilt me with his favourite books.

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Well, sleepless nights have become a part of the routine. Another night spent staring at the ceiling with an unexplained restlessness that is probably the mix of nostalgia, hurt and regret. Suddenly my eyes darted towards the window and the black sky had started to get painted in bright morning colours, as though giving me hope that there will come a time when all of this pain will be gone and life will become beautiful again. A need to feel happy suddenly rose within me. Maybe Mother Nature has its own way to teach us the way of life. Maybe Mother Nature has her own surprises.

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You will never forget the first time your parents said that they are proud of the person you are growing up to become. There is a sense of satisfaction and a certain sense of victory in seeing them happy. The content voice and the shine in their eyes are accomplishments that are undoubtedly, the best.

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When you want to conquer the world but cannot even get yourself to finish the syllabus for next day's exam!

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Lately I have been thinking quite a lot about why I write.
Maybe I write because it refreshes my mind after a long day, but then, so does a cup of double strong filter coffee.

Maybe I write because it soothes the pain of yesterday, but then, so does a tub of Gelato's Madagascar Fine Chocolate.

Maybe I write because it makes my heavy heart feel light, but then, so does a bar of Lindt.

Maybe I write because it gives me a route to understand my feelings, but so does, music.

I guess I write because writing gives me a perfect combination of the feelings that I mentioned above just by doing one single thing. It is the joys of listening to good music, reading a good book and a gastronomic treat put together.

It is a way to relive the best memories and reflect upon the good and the bad.

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