I don't want birthdays anymore.
I'm getting older and busier every day.
I haven't had a good laugh with my brothers in a long time. Sleeping with my face tucked in my mum's belly seems a vague dream now.
I haven’t had a proper 2 am conversation with my best friend.
Heck, we don't even text each other everyday.
From covering for each other's proxy to splitting the bills, from clicking selfies everyday to not knowing how to pose for them anymore, from hating kids to loving my neice and nephews,
my lifestyle and priorities are changing.
I don’t go out of my way to sort things after a disagreement.
When someone texts hello, I know they need a favour.
I can’t help but feel that all of this is going too fast. Only a couple of years ago we all sat in the college canteen, and our biggest worry was assignments.
With all these feelings, life seems so unpredictable now.
I guess that's why they say " growing up sucks".
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Through out the year I've learned four major things:
1. A piece of brownie will fix just about everything and for the pains it can't there will always be my dad's voice.
2. We can't control what we go through -moments, feelings, people. We won't ever be ready what life throws at us. And we won't have the right words when it counts for something. You have to make peace with it and move on.
3. It is easy to be cold in a world that makes it so tough to remain soft. For that, the hugs will keep you warmer and love will make you calmer. Without a doubt.
4. Hold on.-
One day you'll stumble upon someone who'll see through the galaxies knitted in your bones, warmth of the sun in your embrace, and stardust dusted across your cheeks.
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I want to be happy.
It is as simple, and as complicated as that.-
I planted a seed long before and watered it every day. So it grows, grows big. Big enough to be there for a long long time. I gave it my time, my attention, nurtured it with all i had. At first i didn't name it. As the time passed, branches started to take the space. At first i didn't notice that it covered my whole backyard. Place where i spent my sunny days, sipping happiness through the moments. All bright and sweet. But now it was dark and damp, leaves rotting around. The tree never beared a single flower. By the the time i realised that i planted a wrong seed, it ruined my backyard. All my time and efforts were wasted. I had no other choice than to cut it down. It took me months to dig deeper, to get the roots. And when i was finally done cleaning my backyard, i came up with a name.
I named it hatred.-
May this year you rinse off all the sorrow your heart has been leaking.
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When did being in love became so crushingly hurtful , that every time you breathe you feel pieces of glass in your ribcages instead of a beating heart.
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Glow like them.
Burn. Explode. Dissolve.
But in the end,
Just glow like them.
Leave your light behind so they can remember how you made them feel.
Maybe sad because your lights reminded them of someone.
Maybe content because right now all they want is to glisten.
Be something so bright that they can't ignore you.
So bright that they run behind you to see your sparkle spring.
So bright and beautiful that they can't help but forget everything. Even for a while.
Awestruck them with your lights.
Glow.-
They said, "Be with someone who makes you go crazy and keeps you sane at the same time."
Me: Mountains, Will you marry me?-