Dear peace

Come back to me,
Like an old, forgotten lover
And embrace me like you'd
Embrace a saint in meditation.

I won't cheat you, for anyone this time
Won't trade you for ephemeral highs,
Won't auction you,
In the land of lawless love.

Forgive me for I'm just a sinful mortal.
Engulf my troubles under your cloak
And take me once again
To tranquil October afternoons.

Come back to me like a lost loving friend
Hold my hand, part me from insanity and complete me.
Come to me and embrace me like you'd embrace a sufi detached from the world.
Enslave me and I won't rebel this time
won't retaliate and run to fake friends
Or toxic men.
Enchant my mind like my mother's lap once did,
Hold me, like a tired little girl

Dear peace come back to me i won't loose you this time.
I won't listen to murmuring neighbors or complaining lovers.
Come back to me and I won't take you for granted
I'd spend my nights swaying in your breeze rather than waiting for fickle moon.

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Somdays you live,
Somedays you survive
And somedays you merely exist.

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Where does the silenced chaos crash?
Where do the muffled muses bemoan?
What price you pay for this so called peace?

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I wonder did you put me in this situation
Or I jumped in this quandary myself
Are these battle scars,
Or self Inflicted injury
The further I try to do myself from you
The further I go away from myself too.
This illusion is in my head
Or it's there in your's too?
Is this only in my heart
Or it there in your's too?
You taking me bit by bit
Threating my existence,
Isn't that murder?.

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//Therefore I am//
(I don't even intent to make sense)

I write all close to my heart and flesh details not to harden but to forget; I re-read it I am a mess

I see and repeat patterns, I walk on the same crooked lines; I am shaky

I gulp some truth and spill some lies; I am pathetic pleaser.

So much mirth i have lost in stoking people's fire;Im cold.

I owed them nothing yet so much ache came back to me; I am encumbered

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I wonder why,
Whatever I write
Sounds like
Cacophony of
Wasted efforts. — % &

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I thought I belonged somewhere,
Until my home decided to walk away;Abandon me,
With everyone who leaves,
you are reminded of all those who left.
All who left take something from you,
Whatever they took from you
You look for it in the next.
But some voids are impossible to fill,
Some souls irreplaceable.
Some sort of love doesn't exist, outside that one human.

I have ceased the search now, someone took my hope.
I don't care who comes and who leaves, someone took my faith.
I don't dream anymore, someone took my sleep.
— % &

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A Pessimist's listicle
(Disclaimer:- this poem is not intended to make any sense.)

What pleasure it is in pessimism,
What irony it is to write it.
I see everything in shades of grey
The chaos in colours amuse me no more
It's too much for a tested heart and unrested eyes to seek.

Life breaks one shred by shred I see what filthy matter my body and what unfortunate past moulded me.

I'm never thankful of that they came in my life I fear my gratefulness will jinx it forever.

I see and weigh the future in terms of bad and worse just for the worst to happen.

I listen to the optimist in awe they seem to be living in some other reality with different set of laws of universe.

I do get tired sometimes tired of my self and this lingering pessimism, but when someone gawk at it, I make sure I adorn it like a prized possession.

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Nihilistic Nights

We who couldn't sleep at the Calmest hour of the day,
hold grudge against the night,
Who got the notion of romanticizing it,
Who all started praising it's beauty.
What is there to like about it?
The Capricorn moon.
Or the eerie silence that bears no answers to the yearning hearts.
Or the brain blinding darkness.

Night in reality is cruel and unforgiving,
It hold tears,cries and helplessness
It gives no hope, instead takes away what's left
Saddest are those who couldn't even dream like the fortunate ones.

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These poems ain't
mere ink on paper,
these are corpse
of my untold love
Resting in better graves.

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