My 10 by 10 room and its yellow walls
Wears a peaceful shade when the dim light falls
The comfort that my sinking heart feels
The little extra air that my lungs breath
Is it the ambience or my state of mind?
Yearning for the lost peace hard to find?

In silence you hear the loudest screech
In silence you let it all reach
Silence isn't all peace but noise
You hear million verses of your own voice
But if in silence your heart finds comfort
You've won the battle with your own thoughts

I know not if it's a reality or illusion
For now I wish to rest in this delusion
I know the clock is ticking without a hault
I know the morning will arrive and make me jolt
But for now the dim lights are still on
All I wish is to be in this state of slumber before it's gone.

-

Today I watch you closely in the half open eyes of a kitten. The kitten only born today, her mother all the more protective holding her not letting her even touch the floor. But in some quick past moments when she touches the floor, I can see her crawling, rather trying to crawl, trying to give food to her one day old curious mind, that wants to know this world, wants to open eyes to see and feel it all.

~Continued in caption~

-

"You can count on me,
In your darkest hours too, I shall be",
No, he never uttered these words
But they echo all the time, underlined, bold
I hear them through his actions and ways
In the pin drop silence of his quiet care,

The reluctant, rebellious me fights
To turn my whims true and right,
But when the silly me hides after a trip,
Cries broken and drenched in guilt,
He holds me telling, "look I am there,
You can count on me, I still care"

Today when I am self sufficient and up geared
Not caring to acknowledge the love and care
When in the race of life, I find a space
When I run and run not easing my pace
A warm hand and silent voice caress
Quietly plants a kiss and conveys a wish,

"If not for an extra penny then atleast a moment,
Of a warm cuddle and a sound sleep to lend,
I would stand if not beside then behind you
A door always open to welcome you in blue
If tomorrow the brightness strikes and you wish to flee
Before thinking of an escape, remember, you can count on me"

-

my weakness it can
Never be an object
To be objectified according
To your whims. It strengthens
Me because it is my identity.
For anyone to identify my
Identity by their scooped
Down identifications can't
Throw me to grey. My colours
Will remain as crystalline as
I ought them to be not any
Little grey as you try to portray
Them.

-

When you know it's the ultimate set,
When you know there won't be a new morning, another rise,
When you know the sun has set forever,
When you know you can't have a sight of it again,
You only wish for the moment to freeze,
You only wish to hold it for just another moment,
All you wish is to not let it go this time
Because you know it is the last time

-

I throw the smile hanging on my face
I breathe right opening the cage
I watch the stars taking light away
I don't shout aloud but only screeches stay

I earse memories but they still keep lingering
I paint new days but the colours keep fading
I build castles of sand not stone,
A wave washes it off and I again stand alone.

-

a home awaiting homecoming,
a heart awaiting the lost joy,
a cocoon still awaiting my arrival

-

I felt spring left and autumn knocked in,
uninvited.
I like a dried leaf meandered not knowing if the wind was taking me along or pushing me away.
All I could sense was the strangeness it carried.
The strangeness that you left when you left.

-

hides yet reveals me
reveals yet hides me,
which is raw yet complete,
complete yet raw.

-

Nights breed restlessness
Days seem all dark and rotten
Do I breathe in air?
Or anxiety intervene?
I live yet die, die yet live.

-