I cannot show it,
Because how can I?
It's not that,
I never tried,I did,
So many times,
To show, to feel it, to be vulnerable,
But never saw, felt, or even understood it.
So, I was a mountain when it rained heavy in my yard,
I was a stone, even in tumbling currents,
I became sand, slipping through the fist cracks,
I become what I don't want to be, just because I couldn't bear,
The pain, anguish, and hurt,
Are just fancy expressions,
I become someone I don't know,
Yet I have always been her.
Thought so many times,
Just for a while,
Even with all the rationale in the sky,
The endless objectivity of life,
And all practicality of my mind,
When my breathing becomes heavy,
While I weep at my soul,
And my blood flow through the narrow lanes,
Just to hold me tight,
Just pick up dead cells, cracked bones,
To make a pile,
To make me see,
Do make me see,
At least for this moment in eternity,
I wasn't deep, dark, nothing, and alone.
-