I still feel the warmth of your embrace, that promised to protect me from all harm
I still see the love and affection in your eyes, whenever you looked at me
I still hear the soothing sound of your voice, whenever you'd sing to me while you made my hair
I can still smell your sweet and intoxicating perfume that smells like sweet guava fruits, no wonder it's my favorite
The smell of delicacies you used to prepare tease my senses
I've heard that time heals all wound but I doubt time will heal this particular wound and even if it could I don't want it to
Because if having flashes of memories of you is a wound that needs healing then I don't want to heal
I would rather nurse this wound for the rest of eternity just so I never forget you.

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I'm not your friend neither am I your enemy,i am just someone who wishes to conquer you
To break through the walls of your composure,surpass every wall that you have put up,and finally possess you in the most sensual way possible
I want to run my hands down your chest and feel your muscle contract with pleasure from my touch alone
I want to caress every curve on your body and the delight in the shivers that run down your back from the fire that I ignite
I want to kiss every surface of skin and feel you burn with anticipation of where my lips will land next
I want to watch you tremble with need for me until you are bursting with the desire to touch me
I want to leave an imprint so deep thoughts of me consume your mind
I want you to desire me so badly that even a glimpse of me sends blood rushing to your member
And when I'm finally ready to let you claim me as yours I want to watch you shiver in excitement at what's to come
I want to see the concentration on your face as you decide on how best to ravish me,feel the way you reverence my body and touch me with caution
Experience the unbridled passion you make love to me with
And to finally watch you come undone at my fingertips.

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Hi Father, it's me again but I'm guessing you already knew that
I know it's been a while since we've spoken
I have been trying to study your words and see if I can find reasons to live from them
But it seems I am far too broken for them to save me, it's funny right, I strive to heal but it seems the harder I try, the more my demons multiply
I need your help now more than ever
Help me unhear the words the voices in my head are screaming
Unbreak the broken parts of me struggling to heal
Send me hope in the midst of this hopelessness that I've come to know
Help me find the pieces of my trampled heart and sew back the thread to my failing faith
Give me reasons not to end it all
I am begging father, my heart is filled with anguish, my lips are heavy with sorrow and my eyes teeming with tears of despair
I am on my knees,my soul is worn out and my body fed up with the constant fight
I don't want to commit the sin of taking my own life
So send a sign that I can overcome this or call me home to you

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You called again, saying you missed me
That you missed my laugh and smile
But it's funny because I don't remember ever being genuinely happy in your presence
You said you missed how warm my embrace was but do you remember turning me ice cold ?
You missed me but the truth that you aren't telling is that you only miss how I loved you
You only miss how I placed you on a pedestal and nearly worshipped the ground you walked on
You miss me, No you miss having a puppet to dance along to every little tune you played
I'm sorry but I don't miss you
My life feels fuller without you in it
My heart lighter without your toxic idea of love
My energy clearer without your overbearing aura suffocating me
So yes, I do not miss you, and I'd like for you to remain gone.

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I want to be loved just as my mother cooks
Just like she does without measurements, I want to be loved without rules
And just as she relies on her nose and tongue to tell what's missing,I want to him to rely on his instincts and love me enough to tell what's missing
Just like she smiles big with each taste as the food gets to the level of doneness she desires, I want him to smile big and affectionately at me anytime we unlock a new level of trust,love or intimacy
And just as she sighs with satisfaction at her final taste and treasures the masterpiece she's just finished making, I want to be treasured and adored

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I wish it were that simple,for us to truly be happy as a people
For us to show up, do the right thing and it would be enough to set us free
Enough to change the world around us as we know it, for us to have the life that we desire and work tirelessly for
For the Vision that we see in our mind's eye and pray for day in, day out to stop being that and actually manifest as our reality
For the efforts that have been made by those who wish for a better future for those not yet born to actually yield results
But alas it seems the harder we fight,the bigger the opposition gets
And it's not just those in power that's the problem because without us the common man aiding them and doing their dirty work, none of this would be happening
Tribalism, corruption, nepotism, malpractic and greed are all but a few of the viruses that has eaten deep into our flesh and the antivirus we are taking doesn't seem to be helping rather it's as though it's developed a resistance
Free and fair election seems to be a fantasy that has nothing to do with the reality
I hope we survive and I hope our efforts aren't in vain.

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I always thought beauty only had to do with appearance until I caught a glimpse of your soul
When I sat down and decided to get to know the man within and saw a soul so blindingly beautiful I was stunned
You walk into a room and everyone sits straighter because your presence alone commands respect
You open your mouth to speak and everyone waits with bated breath and rapt attention to catch the words coming out of your mouth
Your gait drips with finesse and your actions with intentions
And yet with all that flair, you are as kind as can be
You are everything and more, a friend, a confidant and a brother
As we celebrate your birth today
I want you to walk with grace and hold your head up high so your crown sits firm atop your head
Carry yourself with the confidence that I know you possess and reach for all the stars above not to hold on to them but to use them as stepping stones to the destination that your heart craves.

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I've heard people say God took his time creating certain people because of how beautiful or attractive they are but I've never thought that to be true until I met you
Where others rate the amount of time God spent creating someone to their physical appearance, yours has more to do with the beautiful soul you have
I bet you were one of those creations that God had to send down to earth upon completion for fear of an angel commiting sin and keeping you to himself
And also because he couldn't wait for the world to see the beauty he had created from just dust
When he breathed life into you, I bet he left a piece of otherworldly kindness, ethereal goodness and a compassionate heart to rival all others, with soul that can only be likened to that of new born
And I can only imagine how proud he is of all that you are and all that you've accomplished.
Never doubt yourself, or how far you've come, there's still so much to achieve but there's also so much you've achieved.

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I'd be pain for that is what I've come to know the most
A canvas filled to the brim with colours each describing my emotions
Indigo strokes for the sadness that consumes my entire being
Purple for the suffering I've come to know
Yellow for the anxiety that won't let me be
Cyan for the loneliness that has eaten deep into my soul
Brown for all the tears that I've cried and still cry
Blue quadrant for the hopelessness that has settled deep into my heart
Gray for the tiredness and exhaustion that leave me weak
Green for the jealousy that I feel whenever I come across people who are normal and genuinely happy
Burgundy for the absolute chaos my life is in
Crimson for the unending pain I've felt and still feel
And black for the moments I've thought about ending it all

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Free of thoughts of you
When I'd go through days just existing and feeling contented with whatever had caught my fancy
Back to when I didn't feel this intense craving to be around you and be held in your arms
When I didn't spend moments thinking of what it would be like to be adored by you
To hold your heart in mine and to kiss those lips of yours
Wondering what it would be like to be adored by you
Back to when I didn't have to nurse the pain that comes with being rejected by you and loving you even harder despite all that
I want to hate you for filling my bleak life with colours and taking the colours away as well
But I can't because if anything you've taught me that life could be so much better with colours and not just shades of grey's

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