I dont actually have anything to write
Yet i still wanna test how bad I can sound...

Life has been crazily happy with all its laughters and joy
With nothing there to worry
I think my life has been pretty sorted all this while
Oh..!! Did i ever imagine , 'It could be the way it is now ? '
Nah, tbh it actually never did crossed my mind.
I am grateful and thankful
I really am from the bottom of my heart.
Makes me think about
how hesitant I was before i started jotting all this down
what i honestly didn't even knew was on my mind.

Everytime I start it's never how i presumed it would be
For writing is something that i assume
takes out what's suppressed,
the unconscious thoughts from which we run
Suppressed as it may be due to the daily struggling life
or reasons whateva there might be
Maybe you too should start jotting down
If nothing than anything or whatever that
comes to mind ....

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Do people disappear?
or do they fade out in time?
Is anyone permanent or
is everyone simply meant to be for just a while
Is their trail a permanent thing
or is it too something which could
fade out with time
Is it us who keep them alive or
is it the time which we spend with them
that make us reminisce about them
every now or than
Which bring me to the question
is it really bad to have a weak memory
or is it supposedly a blessing in disguise...
Does life really needs to be so complicated
or could it sometime just be like the stillest water
at it calmest time...

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At times it feels like
everything that u are about to write
has already been wrote by others
Everything that you are feeling rn
has been felt and dealt with by others
You are just another normal life
going through another phase of life
Hurt... well everyone feels it every now and then
Love... maybe you don't have it now but
you'll have it and forget what loneliness used to be like
Anger... maybe soon u might think of it as a waste of time
Hatred... just another emotions
to boil ur blood and waste ur time
Caring ... Not sure what it would be like
Being blank and at peace.. rare but
something that shouldn't stay long out of mind...

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You might have came a cross the quote
which says that u are a line in someone's book,
a para in some, a chapter and so on....
But what it fails to convey
is that in some cases
you are just a reader of their book..


To be continued in the caption....

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And if ever I was offered everything
that the world had to offer
I still wouldn't like to have it all
I'm happy and contempt with all I have got
A family to live with
Friends to have joy
Kiddo to share the pains and
A partner to love and
support me in all my highest lows.
Yeah yeah and a few fights with
each of them every now and than😅
Life maybe crazy at times but that's what
makes it worth it all...
Having everything at a go would make it all dull
Take away all the fun and make it all erghhh
So happy am i with all that i have got
For I consider myself blessed and
lucky to have what I've got
Hallelujah...!!!

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090223

And maybe you are born to love
But not to be loved
To care but not to taken care of
You try to meet others expectation
Despite having yours broken time and time again
You try your best to be honest
Even to those who keeps lying to your face
Maybe you are born to love
But not to be loved….
Your heart might not get used to love
But it surely one day might get used to be broken

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08.02.23

Ever felt jealous of someone or more precisely their life
of how they have everything and
how everything is fine with them
how they always seems to have a smile on their face
like there is nothing for them to worry about
no pains, no sorrows, no anger, no anguish nothing at all
just simply their smile, their happiness and their joy

I wonder how hard it would have been
for them to cover up their void
to learn how to smile
despite of everything that tries to eat them up at night.
are they this good because of the people they have around
or is it because they have given up on life and
are enjoying the bliss

It’s given life is a gift
Yet why isn’t it the way that we wish….

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080823

This void that people talk about
I too have tried dealing with it for a while
I too thought it was totally covered up
Not knowing the name wasn’t given to it
just like that…
No matter how you cover it
what you try to contain it with
It swallows up everything that comes in it sight

It feels great for some time when it is covered
A sense of freedom that you might have lost
A feeling that you might have thought
you could never had felt again
But as soon as u meet an end
It shows up again engulfing everything that’s in sight
The box starts to erode, crumble and disappear at in awhile
Leaving you just as broken as you earlier were or
Maybe more than that….

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Worry
I always end up worrying about her for no reasons
For thing that might not happen
Or for the thought that she might keep hiding things from me
For she doesn't want me to worry
But the more she acts like this
The more worried I get
N now idk what to do
If I tell her I'm worrying she might not know
What to do
I know she has her reasons to keep things to herself
Yet I wish she could just share it with me

I know she can handle all odds
She can fight whatever comes her way
She is stronger than I know
Yet somewhere I don't like her struggling on her own...
She has been my other half and I have been hers
How do u expect someone to fight when they ain't at their best..
when a part of them doesn't even know with what they are struggling n fighting off

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and than there are night like this
when I’m not able to sleep
tossing myself right to left
hoping to catch some sleep
with nothing to think of
nothing to do
earphones in volumes up
until it is full
staring at the ceiling
like it is a beautiful moon
trying to keep my thoughts at bay
for they may create a turbulence
stirring stuff up that may take away
even the little sleep I have…

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