I let my guard down
And picked a sword
Yielded like a samurai
Only to realise
The time wasn't right.
Picking up the pieces
Head bowed with tearful eyes.
I'm leaning down here,
Waiting for a reply.

-

A long time ago,
There's this boy I met.
He seemed simple enough,
A little timid, a little unkempt.

Like a thread around a spool,
We began to unwind.
He told me about the stars,
And friends which are hard to find.

Slowly, our friendship grew,
Our flaws too began to show.
As time passed little did I think,
That simple and timid soon would outgrow.

But I love a challenge in any shape or form,
My mind is made up he isn't a tough nut to solve.
I'll grind my teeth and work my way through,
Because there isn't an issue that I can't resolve.

-

PEOPLE PLEASER

"Done." I hit send and my status flashes across the screen. The view counter reads zero.

I look at the picture I posted. A fun snap during class with a few friends, most of us smiling away. I had edited the picture with a few wise words, just to let the world know that I have what they call, a brain.

View count : 1

My friend replies to the picture with 😂😂😂
I smile. So far so good.

View count : 4

Another friend of mine texts me and tells he's reposting it.
Marvellous! I'm receiving the validation I think I deserve.

View count : 9

The bomb drops. Someone texts me and tells they're offended. They don't like my sense of humour and asks me to take the status down.

I shudder. The pride of having the smarts to pull of a witty thought fizzled through the air and here I was drowning in self doubt, questioning myself.

I text, "Did I offend you?"

"Yes, you did." Comes the reply.

View count : 13

I sigh.

"Okay, I'll delete it".

And so I did.

-

You're there, but you're not.
You can hear me, or maybe not.
You can see me, but you mostly do not.
You're close, yet so far.
You know me, but also you do not.

I love you, but maybe not.
I think I need you, but that's obviously not.
I am there for you, or maybe I just think that.
I thought understood you, but I know I do not.

-

Why do people let us down?

Human beings are by nature dependent on others for various reasons. No matter how strong and self sufficient you are, you will look for support. Most of us call that 'love'.

The one who has the most capability of making through life alone, will try the hardest to find love. They might even find it, but they'll be unsuccessful in keeping it. Because people like them have high self esteem and with love comes disappointment.

People on whom we shower our well wishes, let us down the most. I wonder what is the science behind that.

-

How many times are you going to repeat the same mistake?

You'll tell him how you feel
He won't understand
You'll try to explain it to him
He'll misunderstand.

He doesn't and never will
understand how you feel.
And he will never accept it.

So it's better you step back
See things through.
Time out for a few moments
And respect your pride.

-

Dear B,

I never thought I'd have to apologise to you.

Like, ever.

We don't share a relationship like that.

Deep, sappy, emotional.

You'll have someone to show that side,
I mean, I hope you'll do.

But today, the unthinkable happened.
And I'm not even aware of how genuine it was.

Are we going to become great friends or something?
Like piglet and Winnie the Pooh?

But if I were to use your words,
The very little that I've come to know you,
You'd prefer Harry and Hermione
For there's not a bigger Potterhead
than you!

-

I wish I hadn't said goodbye,
Too soon, too early.
I wish I hadn't been understanding,
Goodnight, ttyl! isn't helping me.

Because now I miss you,
Miss the 'ki kori asa's and 'haha's
That didn't mean mean much maybe,
Only to mean more than anything.

Now my pride intervenes my decisions,
Let him sleep! Stop being so damn needy.
But who can stop a wistful heart.

'Your message has been deleted'
Remnants of a last minute blunder,
Only to cause more pain.
What if, if only.

-

You got your heart broken,
You got yourself played,
Everyone you met today,
Must have gone through this phase.

-

"You're really brave" she said
"You don't care."
And I don't.
Their opinions, their judgments.
What to wear, what not to.
Should the world know where I'm going?
My black dress is for a girls only party.
Will that spare me the long list of dissaprovments?
Them rolling their eyes, shaking their heads.
Dismay
Disappointed
Disbelief.
"She grew up to be such a rebel."

You think I don't care.
I do.

And silently, I die on the inside.
Everyday.

-