I beg your pardon
If I don't feel sorry
I offer gratitude
If I forgot how to love or hate
Not that I'm emotionless
But I have invested it all
Not that I'm egoistic
But I have lost interest in your doings
I would cry to death
But I'm too tired to give explanations
I would yell it all out
If you could hear or I could speak

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What if I told u I could watch you to the infinite seconds will you stay,
What If I paint all our worries will you share your heartful thoughts,
What if I told I could go blind, deaf invisible will you provide me asylum,
What if I told you I'm tired will you assemble me in your arms,
What if I told you I'm not looking for competition just a loveful place to hide,
What if I told you I could save you away from the world in my words would you love me the same or more

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I'm no longer worthy of dreams
I'm surrounded by sinners
I'm afraid of their karma finding me
But I won't mind peace for the overwhelmed heart I own

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My eyes are burning like hellfire
Streams keep pouring through my eyes
You see a rebellion
You see your assumptions
I crawled to death
Shivering like a newborn
Yearn to see empathy of my portion
Solitude is all I find as a price
Urged to misery by my own tribe
Fell into diseases of unknown sensitivity
My Heart long for burial I'm done surviving

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Confession

I'm a convict of my feelings
I'm guilty of feeling the core of words
I'm insane for the dilemma of solitude and wandering for friends
I'm sick of pouring my heart out because it's too heavy to bear
I'm suffocated to death for holding volcanos of screams
I'm heartstruck at how my throat hurts with words
I'm stunned by the way you're unable to hear my silence
I'm regretful at how I could read eyes
I'm embarrassed at how I drown, waiting to be understood
I'm ashamed at how you could see me dying in a mess

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What if someday I desire nothing but to be enough
What if you proclaim me with your stares inadequate
What if I knew all along I'm nothing but a failure
What if with all inherent miseries I expect a welcome
Will you declare me guilty or bury with ignorance in your eyes

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I carry hells of desires
A well of misinterpretations
A lust to be understood
I carry miseries of silence
The agony of drowning man
The nightmares of yearnings
I carry tortures like luxury

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Yes I'm ashamed to call for help
I carry the curse of hell
still, I whispered out a hand
for you to take me out of this well
Instead, you gave me poison of words
I die with breaths
Holding on a volcano of screams
Yet you never pity me
Yes I'm embarrassed to receive pity,
But I got lesser survival options
I have been a jar of empathy
I carry my regrets like jewel
Yes I'm tired of failures
I don't compete, if you wonder
I just crave for success,
A little refund of kindness
If you still count me a burden, Shoot
I'll bury myself underneath blankets
~Noor

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Sparkle me with glitter
Or embed me into colours
For I can't see any other purpose
For me to breathe
Don't burn me with meetup invites
Don't fume me with questions of intentions
I have a pen of empathy
I have got a tool of death
I'm wonder lost with thoughts
I'm heart stroke to the throat
You are harsher than poison
You made me wish to lose senses
To bear you I need to numb myself
To play with you I have to collect my pieces

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I crave for the tree house
To climb upon or to reside in
To be with childhood mates
Reclaim past spirits and memories
Let the worry-full ghost of adulthood die
Dance away on the floor of adventure
To escape the miseries of reality
I yearn to sculpt my childhood mates
To have a getaway ticket to fantasy land
Make music with our giggles
Prepare a dish of love with care
Celebrate togetherness like castle events
~Noor

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