I'm afraid of digging grave
Unaware, if reliquiae eat me alive
Or leave me behind as remorse
But unanswered queries
Are contagious for fussy routines
I'm not sure how to live hell
Like a devil or a shut out angel
But my heart desires like alive
It yen for acquittal, intention pure
Pleads guilty the mentors of heaven
The clamiers of creation
But for you I'll swallow my heart
And see the culprit and corpse
Claim the throne with justice

- Noorahgusto

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I'm still burning, I thought fussy routines will make me forget your brutality
yes I remember your worries for me being an introvert cut off from the world
but it was for the way people paint me and you out of all people did the same
wasn't I worth a chance to choose my colours
or you were also not one of the knights I took you for
I guess I failed again in recognizing people while I handed over all of me
just to be called out as a mad one out. Worse thing is I still can't hate you but I hope karma will find you

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Where shall I go
When I'm torn
Like a broken star
Belong neither in sky nor earth
Where shall I reside
When my heart trembles
Suffocated like a convict
Belong neither in prison nor winds
Where shall I hide
When I'm fragile like cotton
Experienced of Shut outs
Belong neither home nor fussy routines
Where shall I belong
When I'm scattered, in the name of strength
Eloped every heartless attack
belonging, quest engulfed me

-

To get away from your reward of aches
I invented my hell of agones
Intrusive thoughts, traumas of sensitivity
Roamed around enough to get lost
Dispit all, Drifting at your place
Astonish at how I became scattered,
Struck by deja Vu over and over
Against all the mocking, I seeked you to heal
yet you never waited to bury my ashes

-

The day you made me slip through your fingers
My heart silently screamed "Why dear God"
It's good that you let silence fill the gaps
Now both of us can interpret our own stories,
I hope yours hurt the less
I'm still in dismay, torn away like before
Replaying it all, long to be zealous in real
Rearranging every piece yet lost in quest
Was it all my intuition or were you never sincere
I admit, I needed therapy that's why I seeked you
why you brutally reminded me my wounds over & over
How could the world and you stand in same line
Now where shall I seek shelter if not death

-

Oh creator of all
I'm not asking for all
Just a place of residence
Someone sincerely notice
I'm in pieces
Just a place to hide
Away from all the curse
Someone who won't shut me out,
When I sincerely ask for my mistake
Just a guide to survive hell
I have invested all of me
Only to hear back "you don't deserve"
Someone to understand why my voice vanishes
Just a remedy for my bruises
Someone to realize
I need help Whenever I disappear
Oh creator I'm asking for peace in my hell

-

I'll never be able to kill Specially The way they killed my soul
But I could yen like always so I wish someday they realize, they killed me
Specially when they were liable for my growth they stabbed me without a warning
I can't hold them accountable when they told me I don't belong rather a mad one out
Although they skipped my lessons, their responsibilities still they told me what not to be
Now I'm searching for a place to reside if there's any for me, allot me or vanish me for people sake

-

Wouldn't it be amazing to have
No eyes to see you, leave
No tongue to speak, for peace
No heart for desire
No brain to roam in
It would all be so easy
If we weren't created as human
If we didn't fall into the depths of words
If we would not feel a thing

-

I remember how you told me I'm a quite person.
While I snooze out of conversation, of my mind and heart.
I remember you telling me I'm afraid.
While my heart didn't skipped a beat when I jumped to drown.
I remember how you told me I'm not worthy.
While I collected my breath to survive your hell.
I remember how you told me I'm not needed
while I search for a place to call home.
I remember how you told me to ignore to survive
while I wish under neath not to remember anything

-

Into the slumbers I waited for you
Till twilight turns into dusk
Hoping against hope
Riding against winds
Into the meadows I waited for you
Till the shadows turns into dusk
Breathing against Stroms
Dreaming against interpretations
I found you in a land of unfortunates
I got lost in rare view of sunflowers
I waited for you like a lost child
Running against the track of time
Snoozing out against reality
I'm waiting for you to find me

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