I feel so restless,
like a part of me is drowning,
while another already sunk.
The fire in me vanquished,
and the silent sparks
are trying to ignite
in the ocean of sorrow.
How did life change so much?
Is it still me?
The me who feared none,
the me who won countless wars and battles.
The me who became a survivor of all—
not just heartbreak or failure, but of
everything: every doubt, every despair,
every fear and silence,
not of the world, but of my own, too.
What changed now?
Why is everything so dull and gloomy,
so heavy to carry?
And I am all pale, lost, distant, and hollow.
The colours all around don’t fit in me.
And now, in a blink,
the world has turned colourless,
and I am lying lifeless
just someone with no feeling or emotion.
The light’s lost, even at the end of the tunnel,
and the dark night is endless.
Yet, the survivor in me is waiting,
hidden beneath,
surviving silently and observing the changes,
still lingering, listening to my whispered cries,
comforting me with the past it lived
as warrior and survivor.
Waiting for the day
the survivor will rise again,
and the fire, long extinguished,
will reignite.
And from the flames and ashes,
the phoenix will come back to life.-
I saw it there this morning,
lying lifeless.
Once alive in shades of pink,
now forgotten.
It was still mine,
just lost, maybe yesterday or the day before.
I don’t remember,
but now I do.
It’s there on the streets,
lying in the dirt,
crushed under wheels.
Corners once soft
are now torn and brittle.
But it was still mine,
and I could have taken it back,
washed it clean.
But it felt wrong.
And then I reflected on life.
Things that were once mine,
lost their way, or got torn,
maybe washed off.
I still remember them,
want them, but
now everything lost is too far,
too gross to clean and bring home.
And the realization hit:
Just like I left my hanky on the streets,
forgotten, still remembered,
I need to leave everything
lost on my journey behind.
Forgotten, but still remembered.-
Jab laut ke aaoge tm,
Kya tum phir se mujhe dekh paoge
Kya me tumhare samne wahi ban ke aaungi
Tumhari nazro me kya me wahi rahungi
Kitna kuch hogya inn kuch paalo me
Aisa laga sadiyan beet gyi tere nigaho me
Maine to jaise kho hi diya ha mujhe
Bas tere parchai ban ke reh gye hu
Beghar si hoke
Ghar sa bana liya maine
Jis tumjpe guroor tha mujhe
Kya wahi yakeen hoga tujhe muhpe
Maine to apna sab kuch hara ha tujpe
Bas ek bharose pe hu
Ki tu lauk ke aayega kisi sham
Jb tujhe ek yaad si aayegi meri
Ek yaad si aayegi
Ek kache pakke se rishte ki
Ek umeed ki ek pyaar ki
Kahi kisi ne apni aanchal me
Har khushi tere naam ki sameti thi
Har dua tere naam ki padhi thi
Jab hath bhi jode to tujhe yaad kiya
Bas ek thi koi
Tu bhi sochega aur us din laut aayega
Tere nazro me shayad me wo na rahu
Par mere har nazar me
Tu hi mera sab kuch ha
Ek bachpane ka kissa ha
Ek umar ki kahani ha
Kisi beghar ke liye
Uska ghar ha tu,
Kisi apne se paraye ka
Dharam ha tu...-
If you look for me
Then look for me exactly
Where you left.
I am still there
Answering the same questions every night
And waking up to those questions again.
I wait for your voice every minute
And if i had a chance to hear you again
I will fear all the what ifs.
I crave to look into your eyes each second
And yet if you came up
I might end up locking myself
And abandoning you like always.
I want to hide in your arms
But the second you offer me
I will curl myself up to sleep
In fear of everything.
I am looking for you everywhere
And the moment you find me
The life might leave
It fears you now
It fears the anger the hatret
The agony of knowing me
And maybe some day i still want you to
Look for me
In the exact place where i lost you
Maybe then i will move ahead and find me again.-
why is it so difficult to survive
every day, every moment
every hour it reminds me of how
everything around me changed in blink
i wasn't even me anymore
it all ended with a blink but took more than
everything
it took me
i was just lying and stairing
the dark and dead day
the sun shining bright and
the stars lighting the sky
but at the end i was all dead
who survived
but the cost was lifeless self.-
I have felt that one moment every time just with the thought of it,
Just with the presence of you my restless heart
will feel nothing.
how by just gazing at you
my brain,my heart;even my soul
will know that I am at home.
the world around the lose it's identity
My world would be standing right there,
wearing shades, smiling
and i will crave to look into those eyes,
The one that's my home.
Stair at that face and get lost just like all the time.
I will fit in your arms and feel alive.
All the thoughts of today,tomorrow,
and forever will be at rest.
The matters of yesterday would no longer exist.
In that moment I will be ready to hug death
and for once death will take away someone alive and
happy and lost in love.
I think about that moment everyday since we met
maybe less than a year but it feels like decade
Or maybe a lifetime.
-
Someday i feel so tired Like i look for home
In places i will never have home.
In the middle of chaos and hurricane
I look for a roof that will keep me safe
And where Love and laughter won't leave
Even when everything else left.
I look for places where my heart Would find the calm
But how do i understand-A heart is never calm until
It's been where it's loved.
I look for people who would love Me until the end
And in those moments
I realised It's always gonna me just me
On my own
Hoping and believing ,Fighting and crying, Smiling and promising
It's always gonna be
Me in the end Loving myself
For all i am,
Praising myself for all
the battles lost and won,
And in the end It all matters how Much i can forgive myself For the sins of
Today tomorrow and yesterday-
i found love
in those beautiful eyes
they look like home
A home i made years ago,
Not with maturity and responsibilities,
In smokes and mirrors
Knowing unknowingly seasons passed,
Expecting all with none in thoughts
Then we are here,
Making a dream
Earning each day and
Hour together to make a home,
Together,
And it will all be worth someday
because in you
i found my home and love
that felt eternal and years old
a me that looked you everywhere
and a you that i found without even looking anywhere.
...
It all came down to home,
our home of love,
laughter and everything beyond
.-
And tonight when he called me,
I knew it was the blessing and the start
Of something new and a dream older than my existence
A chapter which was left incomplete
With a semi colon
In disguise of a full stop,
Our part of distance was played graceful
It was the time for our eternity together
And
I knew the love in my heart was growing like wild weed
And he was now everything to me.
And tonight when he called
He gave me the fairytale i only thought of
My little home i always wanted
You proved the meaning of
Forever was indeed forever
Tonight when you called
I was a new identity
I was your identity
And
For me his name was the
Meaning of love.
Tonight when he called it was love!
Just love-
I don’t know why I feel scared.
This isn’t my first time starting over,
and now that I understand what it means to let go,
I realize why he will always belong to me—
mine to love, mine to hold,
mine to fight for, mine to cherish.
He’s my forever, yet I can’t shake this worry.
Love has never been easy, but it was worth
every step we took together.
Today, I saw something in his eyes—
if he looked at me for even a moment longer,
he would fall in love, and he’s holding back from that.
I can’t tell if this distance will make us stronger
or pull us apart, but I truly believe
he loves me and is afraid of it.
Even if he strays,
he knows my love could become his weakness,
and that frightens him.
He’s afraid of what we could be,
and that pushes me to love him even harder.
He’s the epic love of my life,
the one I hold closest to my heart.-