-

There’s just so much inside me
and so little to express
like the words worth 5 decades
and a single last breath
>>Caption

-

I wish emotions didn't change, I wish I wasn't so perplexed and conversed. I am..........(caption)

.....We are beasts of present and I am too weak to refuse......

-

We both remember each other,
it's vague but we feel alike
and it's repugnant

we are helpless in both ways
as you see me walking to your beginning
while you reach out to my end.

-

What I want to feel?

More than love
I want to lay in someone's lap
and hide in the warmth
as the person straightens wrinkle
from my face

More than love
I want someone to grab me
in a hug so I could bury my tiredness
in their neck as I get swayed
left and right
almost like a couple

More than love
I want someone to read my smile
and write an expression without
altering my realisation

More than love
I want someone to give me their first
bite and eat my last
all the while my head leans to
their side

More than love
I want to hold the edge of
someone's sweater while I walk,
unconsciously as their hand
snakes to my fingertips

More than love
I want a love that is afraid to
be hidden and too bright to
be seen

More than love

It is what I want to feel.

-

You're a cloud
and I like to visualize emotions
that you may feel,
I am crying and you ask why I see guilt

you are a preplex thing,
you give me shade and then pour
everything on me as you disappear,
you also leave a scent behind as the green
becomes too much in contrast,

you are purple on days as you howl thunders,
but there are times when I see you as a mist too,
is it any better?

you have always been subject to subjectivity
and it makes me wonder
if you feel the same.
would you ever?

-

My words seems to have lost meaning and goals
I don't know who I am conversing to anymore
but it's alright for nobody seems to mind,
I am the thief who earned the privilege of doubt
no matter my trials that lasted ages,

after all
curses are never miracles for the world
but for people like me,
tainted and wise,
you understand that good people never doubts
and that curses are precaution for protection

but what would you know?
for everything that you hear
is from me.

-

-

The contours of my face is
sharp edged
you praise the red on my cheeks
my fingers are terribly bruised
you see me wiping them on my skin

there is something feral about you
that makes me tamed
I am your kin but after all you are a wolf,
famished and strained

what is kindness to you?
if not to end my suffering while causing it,
again and again
till my bones are
the one you chew

the contours sting you too.

-

There are grudges inside me
etched so deep,
you'll find my heart dancing to
the rhythm of those tragedies,
there is faith in this world incomparable
to your comprehension
and you are never spared from
doubting your own in a mishap

you juxtapose your past to future
but love exists only in those 100s of your delusion,
you look out for me in each of them
but do you actually remember my presence?

you wear exquisite white sweaters
and my only warmth is chiffon,
you are afraid to get yourself tainted
while my body is made from sand,
you pull a thread and I am naked to drip on your weaved wool,
my innocence is filthy in contrast to your credence,
my identity left, a snag

I am standing right beside you
and you never look at me,
my periphery senses you
but my eyes are fixated on the ghost of you,
which was in my past,
'do you remember how the blues of our paint
brushes clashed?'
'do I even remember you at all?'

my heart knows the love you could give
but my virtue is to deny myself out of gratitude,
there is so much that captures me in the pit
it's apalling really,
but you cannot liberate me from my terror
and even if you do,
you will lose against yourself.

-