A year of decoding spectrum of cries 
A year of excited screams until throat dries,
A year where I smiled ear to ear,
A year of anxiety at your single tear,
A year of giggles and chuckles
A year of morning cup of cuddles.

A year of hits and misses
A year of unlimited kisses,
A year of muted tv & phones
A year of music in lullabies;
A year of figuring out,
A year of staying in
A year of disarray and doubt,
evolving into a year of settling in.

A year of total vulnerability &
a year of unprecedented strength,
A year where I felt my lowest &
yet the year where I was at my best.

A year of gratitude prayers
A year of basking in the blessing 
A year of you, a year of us
A year of miracles enoromous

What a rollar coaster year,
Every new turn, 
equally thrilled, equally scared
yet dismounting with 
happy memories shared.

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It was nothing and yet something,
a flicker of flame- neither heat nor light
a deflected ray- of trust, of motivation;
this little information that
you eagerly wait to read,
makes me want to write.

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Separation anxiety

You may soon see your mom over laptop whole day
Remember that you are in heart forever to stay.

Though time may feel short and our days will end up too soon in night
Know that my love for you will always remain infinite.

I see you explore, grow, learn and adapt in this home
Believe me, I too am learning and adapting to be a great working mom.

I may try hard but somedays my exhaustion may show
Rest assured, your sweet smile is the antidote for all my low.

This world may timely give us some or other scare
Shake it off together we will, for fear we have no time to spare.

With everything I say, it will be difficult to remember all initially
But do remember this I love you unconditionally.

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Half closed eyelids
A flash smile,
A new mom's sleepless night
Doubly rewarded!

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There is an order amidst this chaos
that my sleep deprived eyes can't foresee
This God sent miracle yet
a soothing balm to my very drowsy eyes
My reflection in the mirror a dread
Reflection in his tiny eyes,
a medal of being the best.

In exhaustion, I draw the energy
from the universe Force
that keeps mothers running
when there is no space to walk.

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On one of the underneath papers,
you may stay as a light trace
of the scribbles of pain
I violently made;
With love, deep breathes,
with agony circle of healing,
I have disposed of
most of those screaming papers;
Yet here you are,
a gentle reminder,
a mere scratch,
more a dried scar,
healing has its limits?

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People have gifted me
immense practical advice,
how I do tell
It's my right brain
that needs healing?

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A year of loss, a year of gain
Will it balance,
moments of happiness
against tornadoes of pain?

A year of emotions
flooding my arteries and veins,
reflective, refractive, absorptive
does it appear a spectrum of vain?

A year of within and without,
undying guilt of an imposter, lost in a crowd
Before healing, comes
the pain of disinfecting the wound
Before recovering,
the sun keeps setting over the moon.

And yet such is the promise of tomorrow
it clasps our hands in silent prayers
What is 'hanging to hope', if not,
a constant pleading until God hears?

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I crumb up emotions into words
and let go of the sentences
like a paper ball on a sling
A little David to mighty Goliath,
I freely sing,
I own my voice,
I own the world
for I choose to stand.

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My theory of relativity~
Time whoosing at jet's speed
Moments crawl at snail's pace
Me stuck in-between their race.

Stuffy nose and deep breaths
such a constrast case.

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