//Just another sad poem//
Tonight I wish to cry
Tonight I wish to write
just another sad poem about
everything I survived
everything I'm tired of
everything that took me away
from me
Tonight I wish to sink
in every shred of gloom that tried
to dissolve me
I was never good at swimming anyway.
I wish to stop disguising my pain
midst similes and metaphors
and put it out the way it's been
Silent

So, tonight, I'll drench this poem
like every other one
in sorrow
Except that
it's day right now
and
I got no tears left

-

I don't remember our first cigarette together
But I do remember wondering
Whether I was breathing life into the cigarette
Or it was breathing death into me
The thing about cigarettes is
They burn till there is nothing left of them
so maybe I am the cigarettes I smoke

-

मौत आ रही है। शब्द नहीं आ रहे।

-

flowers smiled without a worry.
Trees spread their branches wider,
The air cleansed itself
and even though I couldn't go out
My home bloomed to remind me
"We'll emerge happier"

-

The roundness consumes the corners
The marginalized are brought to the centre
Their roots shaken
Their voice taken
So the torchbearers of equality can absolve themselves
Of their ancestors' sins, and
Raise their glasses to
'a level playing field'

-

a day at midnight.
The clock says it's a new day,
but there's only more night left
12AM deepens the deafening silence
as you dream of
sleeping with your eyes closed
in a nation
sleeping with its eyes open.

-

In this garden of shame,
we grow our flowers
like we grow our women
Every petal a mark of the Gods
at the feet of which they must fall,
for that is where their glory lies.

-

In a world that tried to define my existence between closed thighs and pursed lips, I learned to open up. I learned to do that because even though congested corners hold me better than open playgrounds ever will, opening up taught me how to breathe. It taught me how to drink away the smoke that is blown at me, like it never existed.

-

you calling me bold
has never been a compliment
when you say i'm bold
you're saying that i'm the only sheep
that left the herd
to taste the grass on the other mountain
the only sheep that thought of an existence
that was more than just shedding wool
the only sheep that asked if
shepherds were needed at all

when you say i'm bold
you underline the normal that lies
beneath an italicized spine
normal for you is hiding your pads
behind a plastic burqa
normal for you is the curfew that won't tell you
what deserted streets whisper at 2AM
normal for you is
"too much growth yaa, i'll wear jeans instead"

so when you say i'm bold
my normal clashes with yours
(and then) some of you decide to crush me
(while) the rest of you raise me to the heavens
when all i ever wanted was
to exist

-

The first time we spoke
He asked me
'what's your poison?'
I did not know he meant to ask
What I liked to drink
So I ended up thinking of all the times
I leapt at something that could kill me
Yet I couldn't get enough of it
Something that emptied my insides
Yet quenched my soul
Something that came like spring
And left like autumn
Something that hurt
Yet healed
He asked me what my poison was
And I replied
Love

-