"It is a Bible, sweetheart, not a poem.."
"Then why does it have my name on it? Is this ONE OF YOUR SICK SICK JOKES AGAIN ALLAN!?!!"
"Shhh sh don't shout, it is a liiiitle bit... and it, it says 'Holy' not 'Holly'... please not now people are staring"
"Who. Is. In. The. Box...? Allan.. Is it that little b*tch hiding! You probably sent her winky emojis aga...."
"COFFIN! Not box, Holly! Don't......"

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Ode to powerful Alpha-male Putin:

The de-facto world-leader & cool-walking Vladimir,
a man I envy and always wish near,
a judo fighting commie who knows no fear,
when the west finally surrender the people will cheer! To you, my great leader, we will all steer! Celebration time, find your party gear!
First a quick judo match so you can masculine appear (although everyone knows that you in the steamshower looked at my rear). Don't worry Putti, It is okay to be queer..... Putin, Putout, Putin and then Putout.. But be gentle P-Daddy or I might be too loud. And Btw can you please choke on testicles or get the fuck out of Ukraine you creepy shit?!

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Not listen to the voices and 'KILL KILL KILL'... I will just take my pill, but then again still.. it's been three months maybe I do deserve some thrill? Btw is it true blue whales only eat krill?

-

Let it be known that I am single again,
So ladies; don't waste time on other men,
I hope for texts on my WhatsApp then?
I will start counting down from 10

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in the top three on my list of books that I love to tell people I have read

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Past is past from which I've fled,
Paved is the road ahead,
With the obstacles I met,
With the tears I shed,
The blood I bled,
Now give that fucking talk on TED

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"The giant tattoo of a dick on your back?!"
"I thought you liked my dick?!"
"..I can't.. what the hell were you thinking? On your entire fucking back... I'm packing.. DON'T! Don't touch me! Fuck off you sick weirdo I'm going to my parents"
"... So that means no sex now or what?"
"..."
"Cooooome on! You act like it is such a stupid thing to do, chill"
"A DICK ON YOUR BACK!? I can't find the car keys, where did you put them? Find them I seriously don't have time for this!"
"... Oh yea... The car, i was gonna tell but th.."
"DID YOU SELL THE FUCKING CAR?!"
"DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE TATTOOS ARE, BELINDA?!!"

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Give me three random letters and I will give you the title of the first book in your upcoming crime trilogy

+ Bonus: give me two additional letters if you wish to know the name of the main character

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A life lived in regret is like a fine wine barely sipped. Skills were acquired in those times when you a better life desired

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Only light in a sea of fright. Let the moon be my guide, I have nowhere to hide. Side by side over the horizon we glide

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