I showed you a part of me,
I hid for years that part of me,
Hoping to find someone who'd love me for me,
Only to hear how tired he is of that side of me...
The vulnerable me,
The child me,
The 'small things hurt' me,
The 'keep your promise' me,
The 'i choose you' me...

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And in the silent chaos of the night,
I miss the whispers through the night.
As I feel my chest clench,
I feel the increase in the self harm itch,
Awaiting to feel wanted & special,
I slowly lose the part of me that's crucial...

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And in the silence of the night,
Holding on with all my might,
Was the broken pieces of me.

I whispered sweet nothings to myself,
Hoping to fix myself,
Only to be left a screaming mess...

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And the night seemed quieter,
The minutes longer,
My screams louder,
The pain,
The pain was beyond words.

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Is it too late?
Is the dark tunnel too deep?
Did I let it go too far?
Am I past repair?
Are the good days around?
Or are only bad days around?
Can I find myself again?
Or do I lose myself, one last time, again.

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We have our battles,
We have our demons,
The question that arises,
Is simple,
How much are we ready to compromise to win the battle?

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I begged,
For it to end, I begged,
For it to stop, I begged,
To be heard, I begged,
To have humanity, I begged,
Lost were my self respect and dignity,
Something to haunt me for infinity...

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Everytime you break down,
With every broken part,
You yearn for death,
But when death awaits at your doorstep,
You fear,
You fear the words unsaid,
The things undone,
The memories forgotten,
And more...
Even the most assertive,
Cannot deny death, can they?

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Maybe I should pop that pill,
Maybe I should cut a tad deeper,
Maybe I should jump from a little higher,
Maybe it would stop the voices,
Maybe it would stop the pain,
What if it doesn't?
Maybe doing it won't stop it,
Is it worth the risk?

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The walls close in,
Skin prickling with unwanted touches,
Screams loud but into a void,
Overwhelmed with every thought,
While the walls move,
Adding chaos with every breath.

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