that you haven’t conversed;
sometimes it’s the language
of a heart too full to speak;
other times, it holds the
loudest message - one that
you must be willing to hear!

-

the letter d

sneaked into my mind a few days back
without meaning, without purpose,
outlandishly waving its presence in my face;
it crowded my mind with words like
deception, dysfunction, despair,
disappointment, dread, depression,
death, the dying;
and as the dark deepened,
i was reminded of this neat little trick
a teacher showed me once,
‘compartmentalization’, to survive such eclipses;
so i built little boxes in my mind,
labeled with brittle words, despair went here,
disappointment there, dread stayed locked away,
but the dying refused a place, spilling out, unconfined;
some words, I realized,
like certain feelings and people
cannot be contained in boxes,
they seep into every corner, until they are felt,
without limits and without escape!

-

if i die tomorrow
and don’t get to say goodbye,
if i close my eyes tonight
and choose to stay in the dream forever,
should i follow the metaphorical light
instead of turning away from it,
know that i first went searching -
for green grasses and tall tassels,
and fairy godmothers and unicorn babies,
and everything joyous the world has to offer;
know that I searched, truly,
for courage to live and strength to fight;
i would have stepped off the sidelines too
had I not lost faith in the game!

-

Sometimes, when you cannot change for the people around you, then perhaps you should change the people around you!

-

the universe made me its bitch when I tried to take it on with rationality!

-

the thing with ‘this too shall pass’ is that sometimes ‘this’ ends up being the person instead of the situation.

-

they think
I am broken
and it’s their job
to fix me
but I think I am
only a little wonky;
it’s all the wear
and tear of life,
the universe,
and everything
which makes me
stick out like a fork
in a drawer
full of spoons!

-

Some people will always want to be someplace else!

-

laying about the
house casually.



dressing up
for a party!

-

If I hadn’t met you, I’d probably be a wife and a mother by now.
I’d be sensible, responsible, and answerable.
I’d be a good woman, middle class in both my mannerism and thought.
I’d be less of a recluse, and not know how to rebel all the way.
I’d accommodate more. I’d compromise more.
I’d be less sarcastic, perhaps more optimistic.
I’d make plans, take vacations, or sit at home, but I’d never be alone.
I’d make mistakes and stupid decisions.
I’d think less, be less confused.
I’d follow the blueprint of a conventional, traditional life.
I’d post stories on social media, click photos with cherry blossoms, and put on display the joy a cheap cone of ice cream brought.
I’d walk on beaches, go on long drives, and arrange play dates for my kids.
I’d be more money minded and find joy in things that money could buy.
I’d live and lose for others, if only to compensate for my insecurities.
I’d never be brave enough or have the time to be myself.
I’d be like anyone else, ordinary.
If I hadn’t met you, I would’ve never met the me
I had always hoped I’d be.

-