Its okay to fuck up your life then letting your life fuck you up

-

We (betiyaa) are ok with not wanted in this world, " want" was never required for our existence

-

Even sads things are not sad at times
They change
Even black glow in light
Fact don't stay constant
And forgotten paths do collide
Even insurable lives
And even healthiest dies
You do even feel grateful
For some desires denied
Doors do open which were sealed before
And you don't even hear the closed windows noice
You injuries become ur greatest strength.once from which you were mortified
There no certain rule to life
And no certain straight life

-

I was me
But People didn't like it
Now I am caged by insecurities
Complexes and traumatic experiences
Checking myself and disagreeing myself more than I should
Regretting more than doing
Planning and plotting failing even when I was not playing
Containing squeezing every part to feel normal
I was different never abnormal
But they sided me
So I vainshed all what was me
This older self of me regrets lossing me
Now am no where to find
With not recipe to create
I was fine when I was me
All left now is nothing like me

-

Reality is still just what u perceive and thinks is real

-

Just because you donnot see it , that doesn't mean it doesn't exist

-

Big World universe
Small me idk
Care enough but why tho
U and me hollow groundss
But we still standing tall
Bending reasons but we don't fall
Small us ,big universe care enough?

-

I want a little bit more of you
More than just eating together
And sitting behind you.
Falling ur steps and making plans
I want a little bit more than that
I don't wanna just see stars with you
I wanna feel them like u do
And what u think about me.
I wanna know what these steps say
And ur past trauma

who hurt u and who broke you
Who stood u up when u wanted them most
I wanna know ur life from ur view
Occasions and stories but importantly what u feel
Your mistakes and regrets , plans and questions left
Emotions felt and misunderstood
Everything only from ur point of view
Do you feel the same ? Will you Ask me the same ?

-

I am not happy i am not sad
Am existing is that bad?
Am figuring life
But it's indefinable
How u gonna pay
Baby
How you gonna pay for the movie
I saw alone
How u gonna pay for all the tears

-

U told me u love me
And I gave u my loyalty
But u stepped backward and didn't come to my help
And U didn't spoke ur heart and u left me stuck
Then I was alas free from pain but was gifted emptynes
Now u want me back
Cause u sure this will not happen again
But I don't wanna dare , dare to be the bird in a golden cage

-