I let it and then let go of it

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3:54 PM - lingering thought //

Words astonish me. At times, I wonder what would this world be like if there weren’t words. Nobody writing, reading or expressing. There are times when words are not needed and it makes the moment equally profound; the awkward silence that we all talk of, is awkward because either the words have been used wrong or people have this need to fill up the silence with words. I don’t know if it makes sense, but the day I don’t feel the need to fill the silence with words will be the day I’ll know I’m exactly where I should be.

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is it me who fills in the spaces
around your arteries,
between two words,
along the veins,
among your bones,
and right after you wake up
but
before your first-ever thought ?
is it me who fills in the spaces?

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Three months late to the new year’s
But bagged one of its own.

Too early for mangoes,
Too late for apples.

With you, comes the first day of school,
New class, old friends and April’s fool.

Carrying the bloom of March and
Unloading the summer of May

Pulling off a facade, like a pro
Or having a mind of your own ?

Ain’t you too good to be true?
Oh April, are you for real?

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creating a safer space for yourself to embrace the changes.

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If I could, I would sit on the moon and
bury my head in nothingness.

If I could, I’d cuddle up in the clouds and
pass on my heaviness just to be able to breathe.

If at all I could, I’d just go about life and
not remember you even for a second.

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5 am I drift to sleep
6 am I am sound asleep
7 am I dream about all the wonders I’m meant to achieve
8 am I feel my heart being at its best pace
9 am I feel the lump in my throat
10 am I don’t want to leave my bed
11 am comes my morning tea.
12 pm I want to take over the world
1 pm nothing feels right
2 pm I hear my father asking “are you fine ?”
3 pm I don’t want to do it anymore
4 pm I collect myself
5 pm I await the sunset
6 pm I contemplate my existence
7 pm I hear my mom being proud of me
8 pm I tell my roomies to take me out of these four walls
9 pm I feel the breeze
10 pm I really don’t want to do it anymore
11 pm I decide to revamp my sleep schedule
12 am I take a moment to think
1 am I feel it all coming back to get me & take over my head, heart and nerves
2 am I feel the void
3 am I feel it’s too early yet too late
4 am I am the most determined
5 am I sleep trying to accept and believe the best version of myself.

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tell me to fly high even
when reality holds me back ?

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It took them long to understand that I could be a woman and a feminist but still not a misandrist.

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Her name was printed in the "Best Student Of the Program" column; Convocation ceremony made her bigot parents proud of her decision to do ballet dancing.

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