Am not .....

When I agitatedly respond 'I am fine, chances are I am not And if you keep poking me with your stringent question of "Are you okay?" then that would take me back to the weighing grief already exposed and cut out in open with devious air fanning out as much pain as it can. The memory monster would even transform the warm mornings into the cold slit of chilly nights leaving a bitter taste on tip of my tongue with a lamenting moisture in my eyes. So, instead just be with me.

-

And it's about rain and all those things I feel for you over decade & yet again...
WITH A SOUQUET OF DAISIES
AND A BOLLYWOOD SONG FLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND
TO POROSE TO YOU
AND KISS YOU WHEN YOU SAY YES
ALONG WITH IMAGINING A CHRISTMAS MIXTELTOL
HANGING ABOVE OUR HEADS....

-

ए दिल तेरा किनारा नन्ही
हम भटके हुए
साहिल हैं कोई नदी नेन्ही
उन बदियों से पूछो
काहां हे
मेरी हमनवा
साजिश हे या सफर कोइ ।।

-

Which
Only
Take
Or
Being taken
By
The perfect ,
Happy ,
Chill ,
Innocent ,
Non - egoistic ,
Attitude less
Person...

Am
Just
A
Dired
Petals..
Who only shine in rain
May be
It pink
May be
It alive
But
A
Deep
Inside
It dies
Every
Single
Day .

-

Fear of heartbreak is normal but when you get attached to someone you just don't think about that..you try to enjoy every small moment and giving all your time to that person. Instead of thinking about the emotional suffering, you think about the small moment that give you happiness..I could recognize you by touch alone, by smell; I would know you blind, by the way your breaths came and your feet struck the earth. I would know you in death, at the end of the world.

~ek shor karne lage jo do dil.
~i miss you..प्रेम, क्रोध, फिक्र, शिकायत, करुणा, आदर, सम्मान, संसार---- तुम

-

रातें होती तो है पर खतम नही होती,
आपके जैसे प्रिया बोलने वालों से मुलाकात नहीं होती,
में रूठूं आप मनाए यह बात नहीं हो सकती,
और आप को छोड़ दिल कन्ही और लग जाए यह बात नही ही सकती...

-

The pain is so personal yet to be shared...

I try to write
but my words feel so heavy,
as if they carry secrets
with them So they
spill over the paper Like blood.
My words are like
the pink stained
sky Under which
someone writes About
what their words mean.

I write.
About what I feel,
Wondering if it will ever
make sense to you....

-

We hold on to those who cannot
love us for so many reasons, in so many ways. And it is okay. Letting go is one of the hardest things you will have to do. But at the end of the day, keeping someone in your life who makes you question yourself, who makes you feel like you are too much, who asks for you to quiet your soul - that is the greatest injustice you will ever impart on your heart.

You deserve to be surrounded by people who nourish you and challenge you and dizzy you in the best way possible. It is important to learn how to stop romanticizing the things in your life that hurt. It is important to cut those ties, even when it is hard, even when you do not want to face the loss, because it is within that hardship that you will learn how to choose your own heart. That you will learn how to stand up for it.

And it deserves to be defended. It deserves to be treasured.....💙

-

टूटती हुई हाड़ियों की तरह
कभी दर्द से मुकमल कभी जिंदगी से,
कभी खोई हुई इंसानों की तरह कभी पिघलती शाम में मशहूर,
पर अक्सर इनमें सिलभटे आती है
आखिर इंसान तुम भी हो....

-

Letter to "Alie"
“My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. “

— Noah

-