Loving is complicated.
It starts by liking
Increases a bit by the day
Enters the phase of loving
And stays there for a while.
But, suddenly it takes a drip.
Where loving takes a backseat
One don't love anymore
One can't love even if tried.
It fades like it never existed.
It feels like it never existed
Loving is complicated indeed.

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I am a human.
But, not the one I was taught to be.
I have altered with age.
From cheating in exams
I have moved to cheat in my relationships.
From pulling legs in the childhood
I have become shamelessly selfish to pull down others to get what I want.
From playing boards games
I have moved on to play mind games
In the rat race
I have become the villain and the beast,
A toxic one.
And, will somehow still be a human.
But never entirely humane.

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who knocks on the door when we least expect it.

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I am an idea.
of an idea.
from an idea.
into an idea.
in an idea.
on an idea.
to an idea.
for an idea.
to create an idea.

of an idea.
from an idea.
into an idea.
in an idea.
on an idea.
to an idea.
for an idea.
to create an idea.
of deja vu.

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You got nothing to lose

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I created myself
By fighting the bad and the sad nights
By pushing myself into doing things I disliked
But, you said, I was too much or too less
It was like I could never satisfy you
But, I tried.
I tried hard.
But, instead I succeeded into being created by you.
Yet, somehow I still did not like myself
But, you were proud of me. 
I tried hard to love myself.
But, instead I succeeded into being loved by you.
So, when I finally decided to create myself
You told me I needed to be cured.
But, I don't need a cure for me. 

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Spend it for good or for bad
But do not leave it to rusting.

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It heals better.

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If we all burn from the inside because of jealousy, rage and revenge, while the world is already burning from the outside because of diversity, religion and beliefs. Then, how will we heal?

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Do you know who I am?
A mere paradox
Today, I am wise enough for you
tomorrow, I may mock behind.
Today, I embrace empathy
tomorrow, I may practice apathy.
Today, I pay heed to what you have to unleash
tomorrow, I may simply be judgemental
Today, I am your decent mate
tomorrow, I may damage your reputation.
Today, I am capable of lauding all your accomplishments
tomorrow, I may discreetly hope for your downfall.
Today, you can count on me
tomorrow, I might make you count your flaws.
Because I am a paradox
an apologetic one.

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